Wisdom Rising

Dancing through Shadow Work: Isabel on Trauma, Healing, and Her Shamanic Journey

• Christine Renee, Isabel Wells, and Shantel Ochoa • Season 1 • Episode 34

Share episode

Send Us a Message!

What if the path to healing and purpose was hidden in the balance of light and shadow within us? Join us on an exploration with Isabel Wells, Director and Alchemist at the Moon Rising Shamanic Institute, as she shares her compelling narrative of transformation. Isabel’s journey from grappling with the pressures of ballet and body image to flourishing in the world of alternative healing reveals the profound insights that stem from accepting life's multifaceted nature. Her reflections on "capital T truth" versus "lowercase t truth" challenge us to find our personal essence through the diverse tapestry of our experiences.

As we trace Isabel’s path, we encounter the trials of navigating health crises and major identity shifts. Her story is a testament to resilience, illustrating how she turned adversity into an opportunity for growth through spirituality and traditional Chinese medicine. Isabel recounts her transition from a career in nursing to one in spiritual healing, alternative medicine, and graphic design, underscoring the transformative power of surrender and openness to life's unexpected turns. Her narrative is not just about personal healing but also about the strength found in community and connection, exemplified by  her role at ReikiCafe University (now Moon Rising Shamanic Institute).

We celebrate the beauty of shamanic practices and spiritual connection, inviting you to discover the divine spark within. Isabel's journey over two decades highlights the peace and creativity found in embracing spirit and intuition, leading to a life vibrant with purpose. Through sharing stories and holding space for others, we honor the healing journey, inspiring you to embrace your own transformative path. Tune in to gain insight into the power of healing, community, and the divine essence that binds us all.

TW // Sexual abuse, suicidal ideation

Connect with Isabel:
Email: Isabel@collectivelyquantum.com
Website: Welcometothedeep.com
Messenger: https://www.facebook.com/isabel.wells.58/

Moon Rising Shamanic Institute Links:
Website: https://moonrisinginstitute.com/
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/moonrisinginstitute
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/moonrisingmystics
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moonrising.institute
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@moonrisinginstitute

Book a session with Isabel: https://calendly.com/into-the-deep/schedule

Book a FREE 15 minute connect call with Izzy: https://calendly.com/moonrisinginstitute/connect

Book a session with Christine: https://calendly.com/christinerenee/90-minutes-intensive

Book a FREE 10 minute connect call with Christine: https://calendly.com/christinerenee/10-minute-connect-call-srpt

Speaker 1:

It's time to remember your divine purpose and limitless potential. Welcome to Wisdom Rising, the official podcast of Moon Rising Shamanic Institute. Join shamanic Reiki practitioners Christine Rene, isabel Wells and Chantel Ochoa as we guide you on a journey of radical self-discovery and spiritual guidance. Each week, we'll dance through the realms of shamanism, mysticism, energy, healing and personal development to illuminate your path to true healing and self-sourced wisdom Through weekly inspired conversations and interviews with leading spiritual and shamanic practitioners. We are here to help you acknowledge, reconcile and balance your energy so that you can awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back to another episode of Wisdom Rising. Today I'm joined with Isabel Wells. I'm super excited because she is our beautiful director, as well as what we like to call our lovely alchemist, because she takes my vision and makes it into reality. And today, on the show, we are going to dive in to really understand everything about Isabel. I want to know her healing journey, her story, how she's come to this point in her life because it's juicy, you guys and I'm really excited to deep dive in with her, to give you our final episode on this three-week series of joining with our Moon Rising Shamanic Institute team members to really get to understand who we are, what we offer and what makes us spark and I love that word that just came out, because Isabel that's one of her words like that soul spark is like really vibrant in her life and how she operates in the world is so beautiful, and so I'm really excited to have her on to the show to really share her story. So welcome, isabel.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for being here. Thank you so much. It's funny to be on the other side of the mic today, if you will. I'm usually the one doing the interview, so it's fun to be in the guest seat Right.

Speaker 2:

I know Popping around on the hot seat it's always good fun and really I I think I would love to start off with for for our audience like really letting our audience know what, what's the what's your drive, what's the main motivator for you to do what you do? Let's start there and then I want you to peel it all the way back into your history. What developed that spark?

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's a great question, and I do. I love that word spark. It's such an apropos thing to start this conversation with because it's really fascinating. We did this first interview the first time that we interviewed me on the show, way back it was a year or two ago, and we interviewed each other and I shared my story in that way, and I was listening to it the other day and realizing how much has shifted over the past two years and how my answer to your question is both, at the same time, so similar to what I originally said, and yet the intention behind it is so, so different.

Speaker 1:

And so I think your original question of what's your motivator, why do you do what you do?

Speaker 1:

It, really does have its roots in my history and how I got here, but I think I would say that at this point in my life, I am so passionate about helping people experience what I like to call the rapture of being alive, just the inherent magic and joy and healing and beauty that there is in having this life, this opportunity to be embodied, and not scraping over anything that happens in that like fully acknowledging the pain and the sorrow and the grief and the anxiety and the shadow parts of it, but also the light, and coming into a place where we can recognize the beauty in all of it. Because, to me, when we're really in this experience, when we are really present in what it means to be alive, what it means to be human, not only do we find healing in that place, but we also find our spark, our soul, that inherent essence of all that is and that's something that in the school and with my clients, I'm really really passionate about helping people explore is what I like to call capital T truth versus lowercase T truth, and my students hear me say this all the time, but it's because this is really everything that I've experienced in my journey up to this point. It really culminates in that idea and this understanding that A we're all doing the best we can with what we have right, we have our thoughts and experiences and emotions and memories and all of it, and it cultivates who we are and how we interact with the world. And through that lens we're all trying to find our way to that capital T truth, right, that essence of life, that meaning, that purpose, that sense of connection with divine God, source, spirit, whatever it is for you, we're all trying to find that universal essence, but because we have our own thoughts and beliefs and perceptions, we're all going to approach it from a different way.

Speaker 1:

And so I like to call that universal essence that capital T truth, that truth that we all know and yet nobody can quite put into words. And then the way that we see it and the way that we connect to it is what I call our lowercase T truth. And I think at this point in my journey that's really what experiencing the rapture of being alive means to me is have you found your version of that lowercase t truth and can you use that to embrace your life in a more wholehearted, compassionate, authentic, humble way, so that we can connect with nature and we can connect with the divine and we connect with ourselves and through that connection we're then able to experience and embrace the world around us and the other people in it. And so that's a little bit of a roundabout answer that we'll probably get clarified as we go, but I think that's what I'd say for now.

Speaker 2:

I love it and I love that there's such an expression of passion in that Like. It's so clear when you talk about how you help your students and how you find this discovery of your own internal spark, your own lower T and capital T truth. I love that because that passion resonates through how you teach and when you teach and all aspects of your life and you just really honor that authenticity of who you are. So then it's like well, how did you get there? How did how did you be able to recognize that this was your, your purpose?

Speaker 1:

You know that's such, it's such a big question obviously, and but what I love about it is I think my story really is my process of finding my lowercase t truth and I think in the honoring of that process it's helped me to honor that process in others. And so I'm incredibly grateful for everything that I've experienced because it has brought me to where I am today. And so I always like to say that I heavy loaded my human experience on the front end. I just kind of came in and chose to have all of the really difficult, hard, intense experiences right from the start. And so my story really honestly, it begins when I was three. I was repeatedly sexually abused by my father at the time and that led to my parents being separated, with continuing abuse during that separation that my mom didn't know about. And then you have the court battle and the custody battle and they ended up being divorced when I was five. And so that's already at a very young age a lot of fracturing of my subconscious mind and my personality and my energy. There was a lot of soul loss in that that I discovered later and I really didn't think about it a lot. To be honest with you, I had a pretty normal childhood. I had a temper, I was feisty, I was not very well emotionally regulated and my parents loved to chalk that up to the fact that I was a redhead and I just had a temper. And looking back now I realized that those were all my own ways of this silent plea for help in this emotional exacerbability that I had. But at the time it was just you know, she's three, she's five, she's seven, she's ten, she's just got a temper.

Speaker 1:

When I was 13, my mom and my stepdad who I call my dad for now because he really has been such a supportive figure they had married when I was seven and they had their own kids my twins, siblings when I was 13. And it was this really interesting, pivotal moment in my own psychology and my energy, because I went from being the baby in the family I have an older brother and then there's me and then my younger siblings and I went from being the baby of the family who, even though I had these emotional outbursts and I was really struggling, was always really loved and cared for and the center of attention, and suddenly there were these new kids in view and I was really forced, with this awareness of the fact that I wasn't my father's kid and I know that sounds like such a weird thing of you just had this intense trauma and that's the thing that really changed your perspective. But it was this really interesting moment of the first time. I think that my self-view really shifted when I realized that there is this sense of deeper connection, that who I see as my father figure has with these kids that he doesn't have with me, and that thread had woven itself through my childhood. He and I would get in fights a lot. He didn't have a lot of patience with me. There was a little bit of you know what. At the time it was just spankings and things like that, which at the time you know was okay, but now we see that that's probably not the best way to raise a kid.

Speaker 1:

So there was a lot happening in my childhood but thankfully, when I was around seven so just after my mom and stepdad had gotten married I started dancing and I found ballet and I think it was this really pivotal moment for me. I still remember the first time I stepped into a studio and I had my little leotard and my ballet flats and I was all ready and it was just this moment where everything that I couldn't put into words could get put into my body, and the focus that I needed to be able to quiet my mind and quiet my emotions and just be present, I could find in the studio, and it became this kind of coping mechanism. I didn't realize it at the time, but it really did. It became a crutch for me, but it was the most beautiful crutch I could have asked for. I danced from the time I was about six and a half, so the time I was 18, and it was my life. It became the entirety of who I was, to the point that my bedroom was decorated in ballet and by the time I stopped dancing I would wake up, I would eat breakfast, I would be in the studio for 10 to 12 hours a day, I'd come home, I'd go to sleep. It was my life, it was who I was and it was this way of filling this void that I didn't realize I had. And because I had such a fractured sense of self and I couldn't put that into words and I didn't have the framework to understand what had happened in my childhood, I was able to make sense of things in ballet and I was able to really hone in on how perfect can I make my physical body to make up for what felt like the imperfections of my mind and my emotions. And obviously a lot of that awareness has come after reflection and years of really working through things, and I didn't have that at the time. At the time it was just this amazing outlet and this way of expressing who I was.

Speaker 1:

And in that process of really leaning into the perfection and the embodiment and the hours upon hours, upon hours in the studio, it did become unhealthy at a point and I had my first eating disorder by the time I was 11. I was on my first diet by the time I was eight. I had a really, really difficult time being in my physical form and so the stress of that and the eating disorder and the layers of that really just kind of carried me through my early teen years. I started having some pretty serious health issues when I was 13 and kind of coincided with the starting of my period and my eating disorder and there was just. My hormones came alive as I started taking that transition from childhood into adulthood and it wasn't a good thing for my body. My body was not ready to process everything that comes with that transition. And so by the time I was 13, I was already seeing doctors. I was having a lot of really crazy health issues. And it was low enough, it was under the radar enough that doctors were like there's really not anything wrong with you, you're just going through puberty, your body's going through changes, it's totally fine. And so we just we glazed over it and we carried on and I continued dancing.

Speaker 1:

The twins started growing up by the time they were two, so I was about 15,. 15, I think, was a really pivotal year for me, because it was when I really started having a this awareness that something was really really wrong with my body and I still didn't know what it was. And B my parents at the time were in a really difficult spot in their marriage. My father was an alcoholic, they were on the verge of divorce. The twins were two, turning three, and my mom was essentially raising them by herself. So I stepped up and it became that my life was raising the twins, getting up at 3 am to help with the feedings and doing the grocery shopping and cleaning the house and all of it, and dancing, and that was it. That was my entire life from the time I was 14, 15 to 18.

Speaker 1:

And again, it was this really powerful method of escape for me powerful method of escape for me of I didn't have to look at everything because I was so busy and because I was being, you know, so helpful with my mom and so passionate and so driven and so determined in ballet, and I had a lot of success in both of those. You know, my mom was really, really grateful for all of the help that I offered her, and the twins are amazing Not that I think that was my doing, but it was. It was this process of watching them and cultivating them grow up. That was a really beautiful thing. And in the studio, that dedication and that drive and that ability to do whatever it takes to make perfection out of my body really paid off and so I saw a lot of success with it and it's something that really made me able to gloss over the fact that it was unhealthy for a really long time.

Speaker 2:

Right, yeah, I totally hear that Like this level of like my body can achieve success and at what cost. Right that avoidant attachment of like filling your life with just the amount, like whether it was the child rearing of your brothers, or the the dancing, or like just the the totally consuming your whole world to not allow you to really emotionally process what happened in your younger years?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you know it's so interesting.

Speaker 1:

It's absolutely right. And it's interesting because when because when I was growing up, my older brother also had a lot of mental difficulties because the trauma and I think I really took hold of that story and took it on as my own and I would always say no, I'm fine, like yeah, it happened, but it didn't impact me, I'm fine. It got Shane worse than it ever got me. Thank goodness I was young enough to not remember it was the storyline that I had and so by the time I was 17, I had gotten into this really prestigious summer intensive. So when you're a dancer, you take these five to six weeks in the summer and you go away to a different company to hone your skill, to get exposed to new directors and new recruiters, to potentially be taken on as an apprentice and eventually get a job in a company. And I had been accepted into this really prestigious summer intensive. It was probably one of the best summers of my life. I was in really top form, dancing wise, my parents had mended a lot of their difficulties and I was able to just really focus on ballet. And then I got home and there was something about that transition from when I was 16, going into 17,.

Speaker 1:

Coming back from that summer intensive where everything really did start to fall apart, it was really the moment where I started to realize things are not okay. So my brother ended up being admitted into a mental health institution, got himself out and didn't tell us and we didn't hear from him for two years. And that was really difficult because we were really close at the time. He was the one that I shared everything with and he was probably the person that heard the most of my health journey, because by that time I had been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, hyperthyroidism, adrenal fatigue, I had severe vitamin deficiencies and gut dysbiosis. I had IBS and so my body was not absorbing the nutrients from anything that I ate. But because I essentially had holes in my gut, anything I ate I became allergic to because it went into my bloodstream. There's more that I'm forgetting, but it was. It was a really terrible time for my health and I couldn't do it anymore.

Speaker 1:

And that year really shifted things for me because it just it all fell apart and I think my brother leaving was really that pin that just kind of made it the damn explode. And I remember when I was 18, I had been in and out of probably 12 doctors. By then they were all saying the same but different things. That we don't know what's wrong with you, but maybe you should exercise more, was one doctor. I was dancing 60 hours a week at the time and he said you need to do an hour on the treadmill a day. And I remember, I remember actually physically feeling like I was dying when I did that hour on the treadmill because I did not have the resources. And it got to the point where the point where it was actually physically painful to move. And so finally we saw this functional medical practitioner and she was like at this point we're running your tests and your adrenals are actively failing, you are going into organ failure doing the thing that you love and you have to stop.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, take a breath. I know like that's a really that's a really pivotal point in your journey of like this was your life and then to hear that you couldn't do it anymore, your body wasn't going to, is giving out on you. Like that's, that was a huge, huge blow when the dam was already falling apart. It was already right.

Speaker 1:

Right, and you know it's so funny because I've done so much healing from that and it's still that kind of loss. It hits you and it's so funny because I've done so much healing from that. And it's still that kind of loss. It hits you, and people would after the fact they would say, oh, I did band in high school and I had to stop when I was in college. I know what you mean and it's so completely different because it wasn't just a hobby, it was my life and it was the entirety of who I was. It was what I based my identity around when I didn't have an identity to go off of.

Speaker 1:

And so hearing that was really really difficult, but it had also been at that time, kind of inevitable. I had broken my foot in 10 different places at the same time because I had such a severe vitamin D deficiency I wasn't able to dance at that point. I was so sick that I would have to just sit in the studio and watch everyone else, and so that moment was really pivotal because I had to sit back and I didn't have an escape anymore. I didn't have this thing that I could pour myself into to escape everything that was happening in my mind, and that few months after I had to stop was really intense, because it was this moment where I had to sit and realize not only do I have my physical body that is literally failing me, but I also have my mental health that's completely gone. My support structure is gone, my brother's not here and my parents are back to struggling. I felt so completely alone, and it was this process of grappling with the fact that everything I knew in my life was now gone. It wasn't just you know one or two things, it was absolutely everything. And that was the point where I really started for the first time saying you know what Western medicine? It's not working for me. I cannot live like this and I can't live. I'm not going to keep existing in this physical form if it has to be like this.

Speaker 1:

And by that time I had started talking with my intuition, which we'll talk more about later. I had really started talking to my intuition and connecting with spirit and was really big into spirituality by the time I was 15. So I had three years coming into this of this awareness that there was something else out there, and so I really started to sit down and look at okay, how can that help me where I am? Because Western medicine is failing me. It's not working. My body is failing, my mind is failing. I don't want to do this anymore, and that's not me.

Speaker 1:

I have always had this joy at being alive and it was terrifying that that joy was now gone. And so I started doing this search to find something different and eventually I settled on traditional Chinese medicine and I was looking at how they have the symbolism and the meaning of each organ and what it means, and I remember sitting on my parents' back porch with all my notebooks and my computer and having this just huge aha moment, because in traditional Chinese medicine the adrenals are connected with fear and anxiety and I was like, well, that makes sense, that tracks. And from there I really had this moment of you know what? There is something to this. And I found the chakras and I started looking at the connections between sacral chakra and your sexuality and your inner child and solar plexus and your sense of identity and how those are connected to your adrenals and how, when that energy is stunted, it can impact your physical body. And all of these connections started falling into place and I really started to get this sense of there's another option here. I can start working with my energy to heal this and fix this. And so that was the first time that I think I really started to look at how can I take what I know from my experience in Western medicine and connect it with this idea of energy. And that really unlocked my path down the chakras and, at the same time, in my personal life.

Speaker 1:

I had three months to decide if I wanted to go to college, because the plan had always been that I would become a ballet dancer. I had been just about to be accepted as an apprentice when I got sick and had to stop. And looking back, I know that was spirit stopping it at the perfect moment, because had I become an apprentice, I wouldn't have been able to let it go. I fought really hard to not let it go as it was, but had I been accepted, had I gotten a job, it would have been so much more difficult. And so I was stopped at this really critical moment and I knew that I had to have a plan B. My life couldn't just stop here, and I was. You know, college is the next natural step, and so within three months I had stopped dancing, had my entire identity stripped away was dealing with these really severe health issues.

Speaker 1:

And for some reason I decided to apply to Honors Nursing School and I got in. I got into this really prestigious, very difficult to get into Honors Nursing Program and I ran with it. And at the time my reasoning was I knew I wanted to help people. I knew that I was good at science and math my brain is really quick with that kind of intelligence and I knew that there was a way that I could combine them to help people. And with this new awareness that I had of these alternative health options, my thought at the time was I'll become a nurse, I'll become a doctor, and then I'll bring all of these alternative health medicines on board. I'll create a clinic. It'll be great. And so I went into nursing school. I started that process.

Speaker 1:

Part of the requirement for the honors program was that you had to run your own research study, and so, because of this awareness that I had of the connections between trauma and energy and how your subconscious mind develops and everything that I now teach in our school, I decided that I wanted to study the impact of your perceptions of trauma on the brain. And the way that I wanted to study. This was I wanted to see do the people who look at their trauma and say you know what, it was awful, but it made me who I am today, have different health outcomes than the people who look at their trauma as the root of all their problems? And I laugh at this now because I look back and I can see that it was again just another way that I was trying to escape. I was trying so hard to hold on to that story of you know what. I went through a lot, but it's okay. It made me who I am today. I'm fine. It didn't impact me, I'm fine and I was really holding onto that.

Speaker 1:

I had so much happening with my physical health that I didn't have the capacity to really fully acknowledge the fact that mentally I wasn't okay and that my trauma really was impacting me. So I went through school, I was doing this research project and I kept looking at the connections between energy and our physical health and I really found this fascinating rabbit hole that I spent probably a year or two going down of looking at how our trauma impacts our brain development, which impacts our HPA axis, which impacts the production of our hormones, which impacts our physical health and looking at the production of our hormones which impacts our physical health, and looking at the biggest question that I kept asking myself at the time is there are other people who are doing just as strenuous work in the studio that don't have this problem. Their bodies are not feeling them. Why is mine? That was the biggest question that I had at the time, and it was really this light bulb moment of realizing it wasn't that I was doing something wrong. It wasn't that I could have done something better. It was that I was set up to fail from the start.

Speaker 1:

My traumatic experiences as a child had set up the framework for what became my illness as an adult, and that awareness really just started catapulting things and helping me propel through healing my physical health. And so I started working with energy and getting into traditional Chinese medicine, and somewhere in there I heard the word Reiki. I had no idea what it was. I woke up one day and it was just in my head. I signed myself up for a class. I went still having absolutely no idea what it was, which is really unusual for me. If I get an idea, I'm usually researching it and looking it up. And no, I just I had the word in my head when I woke up.

Speaker 1:

I went to a class, I got certified and that was the start, and from that moment I I had known that there wouldn't be an outlet for that in nursing school, you know, in Western medicine, especially as we were heading into COVID times, and and so I started my own blog. And I look back at that version of me and I'm so astounded that that happened because, again, I was still in this really fractured state of identity where everything I loved had been stripped away. I was in therapy for that. It was a really difficult time and yet there was this pinpoint of light, there was this feeling of hope and inspiration and, look, maybe this is a solution. And I wanted to follow it as far as I could. And so, through that process, I now had my Reiki certification.

Speaker 1:

I had this awareness of some alternative healing modalities. I found EFT tapping, which led me into doing a training for that, which led me into doing a coaching training, and I just started kind of accumulating all of these tools that were helping and funneling them into the blog and the website. And it's funny, because that need to write, to express, led to me starting the website and the blog, which meant that I had to learn a little bit of graphic design and I had to learn how to do a website, and that was really the start of this other branch of my journey of learning those skills that have become really valuable. And I start to look at this point in my life where all of these branches start coming out and realizing just how much I was just this kind of swirling vortex of ideas and inspiration and absolutely no grounding. My root chakra was completely gone. And at the same time, I'm really, really grateful for that period where I just started doing anything and everything I could that might potentially help, because not only did it lead to me developing the skills that I have today, but it really shaped my perception of what is and isn't possible in life, and part of that was I was in nursing school when COVID hit and I didn't align with how the medical system, and particularly the school that I was at, was handling it.

Speaker 1:

There was a lot of judgment and a lot of anger and I didn't want to do it anymore, and so it was my first time of really surrendering to the universe and saying, okay, you know what I'll change, and I switched to psychology, I was able to continue with my research project. It was really fascinating. I was learning a lot and by that point I felt like I had my feet under me. I felt like, okay, I've got Reiki. I've got I've got Reiki. I've got this understanding of the chakras. I know the trauma connection. I've done my first round of EMDR therapy and talk therapy and I feel like, okay, I know what I'm doing. Now. The plan had switched to I was going to get my master's. I was going to become an EMDR therapist. We're good.

Speaker 2:

Take two and we were in that process, Like I witnessed that process. Like you were with Reiki Cafe University before we became Moon Rising Shamanic Institute, and you were a nurse. Like you came on board when you were in nursing school and I just remember witnessing, like I remember you telling me that you were in nursing school and I'm like right, we'll see how long that lasts.

Speaker 1:

I remember that conversation and it's you know, it's so interesting because it was just again. It was this point where, because everything had been stripped away, what I knew, what I loved, what I wanted had been stripped away I really started taking this hands-off approach to life. It wasn't that I didn't care anymore, it was that I was too afraid to care. I was too afraid to have dreams or desires or goals or attachment, and so I just let go.

Speaker 1:

And I was like you know what, whatever comes my way is what comes my way. And around the time that I was in my second year of nursing school, I had been a Reiki practitioner for a full year. I had been working at a bakery while I was in school and I hated it and I decided you know what, no, I hate it, I'm not doing it, never going to let somebody set my own hours for me. Again, the audacity of an 18-year-old to say never letting somebody set my hours for work. But that was the thought and I kept hands off the wheel and I had happened to stumble upon Christine's metaphysical anatomy and physiology presentation and it was just this affirmation of all of the connections that I had been making in my own life and this aha moment of there are other people talking about this. I'm not alone in this perception. And that was the only contact that I had had with Christine.

Speaker 1:

And I woke up the next day and, just like I had the word Reiki in my head, I had this idea of you should message her and see if she needs help with social media. And I did. I messaged Christine and I was like, hey, loved your presentation the other night. Any chance you're looking for help with social media, and I chose social media because it was at the time it was this thing that I felt like was a unique skill, because I had again developed that training for myself in graphic design and in communicating with an audience through the process of creating my website and blog, and so I felt like I had this skill that I could maybe, you know, stretch a little bit, overemphasize a little bit, and maybe I would get a job doing that. And turns out, you know, Christine had the day before, ask the universe, I need the person to help me do this.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was very much like, if you want me to continue moving forward in this thread and this passion I need, I need support, I need a person to help me do the things. And then you fell into my DMS and I was like who the hell is this girl? Like I don't know who she is, and it was. It was a beautiful moment of going. The universe provides whatever you want and here, here, it is like you are available to hear the call and I was available to to ask for what I want and have those two come together and and then just witness, you know, your journey or your transformation of from nursing school and just I was, I was transformation of from nursing school and just I was I was.

Speaker 2:

I was always, um, so much fun to watch because you were so over it and you were like, all right, if you want me to take this test, spirit guides, and you got to take it for me and you, I feel like you were one of those students that would just put the textbook on your head and absorb the information without even cracking the book and then you would let your spirit guides take the test and you're like straight A student. I'm like I don't know how she's doing all of the things. And it was and you were. You were just.

Speaker 2:

You have a way with time that is so unique Like it didn't feel like you were overwhelming your plate Like you used to. It was different. It had a different energetic signature on it. There was more trust and letting go of surrender to let spirit take control and be like. Here's the person. We'll take the test. We're going to set you up to get so uncomfortable in this that you pivot into the thing that you're supposed to be doing and just to witness that transition of like and to, to see you in that struggle of going. I knew from right away I'm like, yeah, she's not meant to be in nursing school, but I'm not going to say anything because it's your journey, it's your story, it will, it will unfold the way it needs to and and it did- and it did.

Speaker 1:

And you know, I often say that I was forced into learning what it means to surrender, and in a lot of ways I was, and I am looking back. I am so incredibly grateful for that, because it has allowed me to get to the point where I am in my life today, and I know that that sounds really cliche and overused, but it was really true for me. At the time. I was forced to give up everything, and so I had no choice but to know what it meant to surrender and know what it meant to trust, and so I had no choice but to know what it meant to surrender and know what it meant to trust. And so I, you know, I I really did become this space of let's, let's see what happens if I follow all of the avenues and all of the signs and stay really open. And so we got to this point where I was working with Reiki Cafe University, and it was the first time that I really saw, you know, when all of these skills, these random things that I've picked up, they can actually work together. I can use that graphic design, I can use the coaching, I can use the spiritual perspectives to funnel it into this job that I have, and eventually that turned into Christine realizing that you know, this kid, this 19-year-old kid at the time, has these skills and let's see what she can do.

Speaker 1:

And I ended up teaching my first class with Christine when I was 19. And that in and of itself was really fascinating energetically, because it was this again, this dichotomy of, on the one hand, I knew how to be open to spirit, I knew how to trust, I knew, at that point, how to channel, I knew some coaching, I knew AFT, I knew about the chakras, I was really into quantum physics, I had studied all of the world religions to find the similarities because that was a passion project of mine. The first few years that I was in college. I had all of these really.

Speaker 2:

And you had all those skills. And not only that, but like you, crash course, the Reiki, happy University courses, like here's my six month program and you would do it in two months and write all of the manuals for them. I'm like great, you did that one, now how about this three month one? Can you do that? And it would be like you dove in so deep so fast and absorbed everything, everything, everything. Like you just absorbed it.

Speaker 2:

And then we're followed that curiosity and would continue to do your own self-study and research to fill in any of those blanks and and and. Just having that process with you of going you could add to what I was developing, like and. And. So it was this very unique thing of like, all right, I love this metaphysical anatomy and physiology presentation. What if we added this element to it? Or this element to it? Like you added in things where I'm like, yeah, it's a great idea. Like I might have had the concept in my mind at some at somewhere, like spirit gave it to me, but like you would draw it in, you would make the things that I had created better.

Speaker 1:

And it was this really fascinating process too because again it was it was this first time that I really got to see how everything would connect. And so I did. I did all of the courses and I think three months I rewrote all of the content. I made all the manuals. I dove in really deep. I did my first real shamanic journey when I was 19 with Christine and I remember it just felt like coming home. There was this sense of depth to it that I hadn't gotten from any other avenue of my spiritual wanderings to that point. And by then I had been channeling and I had come up with this way of literally hearing the voice of your intuition and journaling with your intuition so you can hear it the same way you hear your thoughts. I had a lot of really deep insights from a really young age. I was doing that by the time I was 15. But when Christina and I kind of found each other, I really was, like I said earlier, this whirling vortex of ideas and techniques and inspiration and the ability to channel and be open to spirit and surrender, and all of it with still no roots. And so I had this one avenue happening in my life of working with Reiki Cafe, working with spirit, honing in on all of these things, starting to see how all of the pieces could connect. And then, on the flip side, I was still in nursing school and I was exploring that and COVID happened. And I remember COVID was a particularly difficult year for me, as it was for many, many people. But it was really interesting because in January I got mono. I had been in a fairly abusive, unhealthy, toxic relationship. The stress of that led to me getting mono. So I went back to my parents' house. I was down with mono for a month and a half. By the time I came out of it and was finally ready to go back to school, covid hit and everything was online and so I was self-isolated again, which for me was a really good thing, because I grew up homeschooled because of ballet, I grew up teaching myself, and so having school online actually really worked for my brain. But it also gave me the space to realize I don't think this is what I want to be doing. I have this passion for. I took a general psych class and that kind of planted the seed in my head of here's another connection. Here's another way that I can understand why we are the way we are, why we live the way we do what this life is for. And so when the crucial moment came where, like Christine said, I really was kind of again forced really into the space where I knew nursing wasn't for me anymore, I again hands off the wheel. Okay, fine, I'll go to psychology. Hands off the wheel, okay fine, I'll go to psychology. And so I did psychology, I did my research project and I remember feeling, thinking that I felt I'll say solid, I was like I've got my spirituality, I've got my job, I've got psychology, I've got this research project going. I think I'm finally where I'm meant to be.

Speaker 1:

And then I took a class on clinical mental health disorders and we got to the PTSD module and I remember sitting there thinking I was so smug I was sitting in that class, going, oh yeah, I know all these symptoms, been there, done that, healed that, got the t-shirt. And then she started actually going through the symptoms and I started thinking to myself problems. And I started thinking to myself, well, shit, because I had every single one. Usually when you have PTSD you've got a couple of them. They have a purposefully broad range. I had every single one.

Speaker 1:

And I remember coming back to my apartment after class that day and I just had a mental breakdown.

Speaker 1:

I can tell you exactly where I was, I can tell you the date. I can tell you that the first thing I did was get on a call with Christine and say I don't want to do it anymore. It was this really powerful moment for me where on the outside everything was going so well, but it was the first time that I ever out loud admitted to myself I'm done, I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to be here. I was still struggling with a little bit of the aftermath from my physical health. I realized that what I had thought was healing PTSD hadn't actually healed PTSD and I was just done. And that started a year of this really fascinating dichotomy that I think I'm still processing as I look back on it. But it started this year where, in my personal life, I was suicidal. I was incredibly depressed. I had to move out of my apartment and back into my parents' house because it wasn't safe for me to be alone. I would have panic attacks maybe two or three times a day.

Speaker 1:

It was awful and and I was I had this really intense anxiety. I started exhibiting OCD symptoms so I wouldn't be able to rest unless my shoes were in a perfect line outside my door. It was this really intense mental health year and I started doing EMDR, which again my second course of EMDR because you know what I, what I thought was healing, was really just kind of scraping off the first layer of let's heal how traumatic losing ballet was, let's heal how traumatic losing your brother was, let's get that first layer off. And as I went back into it, the therapist that I found was she was trained in CBT and all of these different therapies in addition to EMDR, and she was really open to energy work. She was a Qijong practitioner, and so I was able to just come to her and say, look, this is everything. These are all of the perspectives and the knowings that I have that I'm here for a purpose, that I'm here for a reason, that I know that if I could just heal my energy, things would be better. And yet I can't and I don't want to and I'm exhausted and I'm done. And she was able to really hold space for me in a way that was so gentle and also really shown a light on the fact that I had really really intense CPTSD, to the point where their scale for anxiety I was over the top number on the scale. I was literally off the charts.

Speaker 1:

And it was this really interesting moment of watching because I would have this happening in my personal life. And I was still teaching, I was still working at Reiki Cafe, I had helped develop a class, I had channeled a new form of Reiki that we were trying to teach and I was still teaching. And I would have these moments where I would be sitting and getting ready for class and me, my spirit, my soul, was just gone. There was just nothing there and I was completely depleted. And then the camera would turn on and I would connect to spirit and I'd be okay. And I look back at videos from that time and you cannot tell and it's amazing. It's incredible because it's all just spirit coming through me and giving me what I needed at the time and so that it was like a break.

Speaker 2:

It was like a break for you Anytime that you got on camera, anytime you were in class, it was like some like you were able to switch into a whole different identity of right now. In this moment, I'm channeling spirit and I am a Reiki cafe university teacher and you just embodied it for that moment and it was like a break to your system. It was. It felt like it was so healing for you, even though I knew you had all these other layers going on underneath, knew you had all these other layers going on underneath.

Speaker 2:

There was no like it really for me to watch and witness that process of going. I like spirit was telling me, like, stay the course, like let, let her, let her do this. This is healing for her and it and it's not to any detriment of the students Like you are still a hundred percent available. When you needed to be for student care and then, when you needed to crumble and you crumbled, I was able to like witness that and to hold space for you and that, you know, and it was, it was really like a unique year for Reiki Cafe University because we were in that space of just like, if you need time, take your time. If you need to teach, because it's healing for you, go teach.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it really was this pivotal moment for me, because I was so broken personally and it really showed me just how powerful connecting with spirit and nature can be. And it gave me this opportunity to take everything that I knew, everything that I had been teaching, and apply it to my own life, not that I hadn't before. By then I had healed all of my health issues. I wasn't on any medication, I was in perfect physical health, it was just my mental health and it was this teeter-totter you know of once my physical health was finally cleared out. Then I had to look at my mental health and I was able to take everything that I taught and really apply it to my own life. And it gave me this depth of understanding and appreciation for it that I didn't have before. And coming out of that year really felt empowering, because it was, it was. It was a full year where I just decided you know what I'm going to let myself fall apart. I'm going to let myself just absolutely crumble. And it started with me at the beginning of the year, still working full-time, still in full-time honor psychology, still doing all of the things and dealing with this really intense CPTSD mental breakdown that I was having and by the end of the year, college had gotten stripped away. I was still working, but I just allowed, I just let go of everything that I needed to let go of that wasn't serving me and really looked at you. Know what? If college has to go, college has to go. If my job has to go, know what If college has to go, college has to go. If my job has to go, my job has to go. I I cannot let anything get in the way of this process. And it was so powerful because it was this direct reflection of everything that I hadn't had to let go of a few years earlier, with ballet and my physical health that felt like it had been taken from me. But this year of healing and looking at my mental health and releasing a lot of things was a choice and that in and of itself was so powerful because it was this really healing process of recognizing that everything that happened up to that point had happened for reason and purpose. Spirit had led me to needing to stop ballet when I did for reason and purpose. Spirit had led me to needing to stop ballet when I did for reason and purpose. I had lost my brother when I did for reason and purpose. Everything I experienced as a child happened for reason and purpose because it allowed me to understand everything that I did at the time the quantum physics, the trauma, the physiology, the neurology, the psychology, the chakras that all of it really came together.

Speaker 1:

And then I had to put my money where my mouth was and really decide that it's okay, because up until that point I had harbored a lot of anger at spirit and at life for how things had gone. I really had this in a way, this victim mindset of well, I'm not going to have dreams anymore, because when I want something it just gets taken away. I'm not going to try to have a passion anymore, because when I'm passionate about something, it gets ripped out of my hands. I don't want that anymore.

Speaker 1:

And that year of letting go and healing really forced me to look at the fact that, even though it felt like it was being taken out of my hands, even though it felt like everything I wanted was taken away, it was a choice. I was energetically choosing what was for my greatest and highest good. I didn't know it at the time, but I was working directly with spirit to understand that all of this was happening for a reason, with spirit, to understand that all of this was happening for a reason. And it gave me the capacity to look back and say you know what, I may not have felt like I could make those choices then, but I can make those choices now. And so I choose to let go of this, I choose to heal my limiting beliefs, I choose to go back into all of that trauma so that I can let it out. I choose to do the therapy and to watch myself, like Christine said, stand in that truth and be able to teach and channel spirit and be so connected at the same time.

Speaker 1:

And so it was this really powerful year arc where, by the end of it, I was exhausted but I felt like I was home. I felt like I had done so much of that healing work of pulling things out, of leaning into the modalities, of really looking at shamanism and Reiki in particular as these avenues for healing, that I got to the end of it and it felt like I could take a deep breath. It felt like, okay, I'm a blank slate now, whereas before it had felt like I kind of had everything underneath me, like I was on top of it all. I was handling it all. At the end of that year it really felt like I had been cleared out. I had been cleaned out not only of everything that no longer served me, but of all of my anxiety and my fear and my victim mindset and my anger towards spirit and my grief and everything that came with that journey.

Speaker 1:

I was just this, you know what shamans call a hollow bone, by the end of that year, and it was fascinating because it set me up for this place where I entered into the new year knowing that I was exactly where I was meant to be and yet something was still missing. There was still that hole in the middle of it, but I didn't feel the need to fill it. And it was the first time in my life that I didn't feel the need to find what was coming next. I just got to sit and watch and in that place I ended up finding a really beautiful shamanic teacher who took me a lot deeper into the shamanic teachings than I had gone before and I went on a vision quest and that was this really beautiful awakening of spirit and this recognition of what power and connection and nature really means and through that process of being first cleared out and then being shown. Look how deep this practice can go, look how much potential there is to be alive when you're practicing shamanic techniques.

Speaker 1:

It was like this light bulb went off in my head and I realized all of this, everything that I had been up to, that whirling vortex of chaos essentially was quieted when I was engaging with spirit, when I was on a journey, when I was outside, working with the elements, when I was looking at the world through animist and shamanic eyes. I was at home and I was at peace and everything made sense. I found this space where the psychology and the neurology and the energy work and the Reiki and the channeling and all of it had a home and an explanation and I could connect all of those wires and this passion that I had for bridging the gap between science and spirituality, for looking at how do quantum physics fit in and where does what we know about the body fit in and where does psychology and neurology tie into all of this ancient wisdom that we have from shamans of the past? Where do they connect? And I was able to find that bridge for myself, to the point where I think the best way that I can describe it is.

Speaker 1:

I came out of that year and out of that deep period of additional shamanic training feeling like everything had a heartbeat. You know, the trees had a heartbeat, the earth had a heartbeat. I had a heartbeat for the first time in probably my life. I felt like I was finally fully me and you know, telling this story, it's really driving home for me again just how intense it was. All at once I look back at that entire journey took place over 23 and a half years that got me to where I am today and those 23 and a half years.

Speaker 1:

I don't think there was ever a time where I felt like I was at peace. There were times where I felt like I was on the right path, where I had these aha moments, where I experienced really deep healing, but I never felt like I was at peace until, quite honestly, earlier this year, where I feel like everything really clicked into place and I found this home and this context for not only everything that I had experienced and all of the healing that I had done, but I found this way of expressing it again and it's resting in that shamanic space that we've now cultivated in the school has given me the kind of outlet and creativity and connection to something bigger than myself than I had when I was dancing. And yet it's in this way that is so much more holistic and grounded and rooted, and that vortex, that swirl of everything that I was carrying, it's found roots now and it's a really humbling place to be, where I recognize that everything that I have gone through I've never been alone, in that, first of all, spirit was guiding me through all of it and I had this team of helpers. I had my power animal with me always. Even if I didn't know it, my spirit guide was with me always. And that process of really opening up to nature with a capital N and spirit with a capital S and truth with a capital T really has given me this sense of awe and honor for the work that we do and feeling like that spark that I had, that knowledge that there's a reason for this life, there's a reason that I am living, there's a reason that, even though in those darkest moments, when I didn't want to be here anymore, I still wanted to be here, that deeper calling, I knew that it was there for a reason and I feel like I have finally found it and allowed it to come forward and allowed that to become the guiding light of why I teach and why we do the podcast and why I work with clients and why I continue to bring shamanism into my everyday. Because now, instead of it being from a place of fear and a place of, if it can help others, it can help me too. It's now from this knowing of it has helped me, it has brought me to where I am, it is my truth with a capital T, and can we see if it can be yours too? And so it really brought this mosaic of what my life is together.

Speaker 1:

I remember sitting and talking with my intuition in a soul speak session, and soul speak is the modality that I kind of co-created with spirit to bring the voice of your intuition to the forefront so you can hear it as clearly as your mind. And I remember talking to my intuition and having it tell me that your life is meant to be a mosaics. You will dance through it and you'll show others how to live, and that was the line, that was the statement that has stuck with me and telling this story, I think it really rings true again because it's I have all of these little gems, these little pieces of glass right, all of these little techniques and skills and talents and perspectives that, when you put them all out on paper, make absolutely no sense. You know. Throw in there the fact that somewhere along the line I learned about homeopathy. Homeopathy really helped with my physical and mental health.

Speaker 1:

I started working with the Homeopathy Institute, I'm making a documentary about homeopathy and I'm now in school to become a homeopath, which seems completely disconnected from everything else that's been in this story. And yet, when you put it in that mosaic and you make the picture out of it, I'm living this life that is so full and vibrant with just life and joy and magic, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't remember everything that I went through and how difficult it was, and kind of look back and tell my past self, the one that was struggling so much. This is why this is why we did all of that, that thing that you were searching for the whole time, that spark that you knew was there and you couldn't see. We have it now. We're good now.

Speaker 1:

This is the reason, and that's led to something that I've taught about a lot in classes and on the podcast this idea of being a manifestation of your soul, that your soul knows exactly who you're meant to be. And if we can allow that process of trust and surrender and healing to unfold, we'll get to be exactly who we're meant to be. Our soul is going to manifest us into being, into this connection and into this truth, and we get to allow that to happen. And no, it's not always going to be pretty, it's going to be hard.

Speaker 1:

My life has been really hard and I think I can finally say that without feeling like it's coming from a place of victimhood. It's not. It's in this, honestly, this sense of gratitude and grace for the fact that spirit gave me so much to handle, but they also helped me to handle it and they helped me to look at it all and work through it all so that now, when our students come in or my clients come in or a friend comes to me and they can't see the magic in life, it's like, yeah, I know, I know, and let's find it together. Let's reconnect you to the fact that everything around you has a heartbeat and you're not alone and your purpose here is to live it, to experience it all, to dance through life, whatever comes, and see if you can find your roots and your leaves too, that connection to the divine, that ability to be perfectly balanced here in the middle, with our roots, our connection to nature and our flowers and our leaves and connecting to the divine, and can we bring all of that together so that you can find your lowercase t truth?

Speaker 1:

Because heaven knows that my journey has been my process of finding mine and I think I can fully say now that I feel like I found it and in two years I'll probably say something completely different, but in this moment I can recognize that I'm exactly where I need to be and I finally feel like, yeah, there's still wisps that come through, yeah, there's still moments where I get triggered or I'm tired or I still cry when I tell about how I had to lose ballet, but I feel healed and I feel whole and I feel at home for the first time ever.

Speaker 1:

And it is an honor to get to bring that energy and that awareness and this fullness of self into the work that I do, because I think, like Christine said, it adds a layer to it that I hope comes across and I hope helps people understand that, no matter where you've been, no matter how difficult it is, that hope, that you have that light that you have inside you. It's there for a reason and even if you can't see it, even if you don't know what it is, just trust it. Just trust that eventually it's going to come through, because it will.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely Well, and it's been what an honor to witness this journey of yours over the last five years Like I think we're coming on five years here really soon and it has been lots of ups and downs and just witnessing your awareness and your healing and all of those pieces that make that beautiful mosaic and honoring it and not dismissing any parts of it, like that's huge, like this is the epitome of what shadow work is right.

Speaker 2:

It's like embracing all of our pieces and not damning them. And so you've done the work and I'm honored to co-teach with you and share space with you and teach classes with you and really have your energy a part of all of it, because there's things that I mean I can clearly say we would not be where we are today with Moon Rising and Shamanic Institute, had it not been for your energy signature on everything. And so, from the deepest place of my heart, thank you, thank you, thank you, because, dang girl, you got it going on. She does, she does. So I just really want to honor your story, your path, your journey and wherever that leads you in the future, I just I continue to be in awe of all that you are and all that you do and you're just. You are the spark, and I'm so glad that your spark is in my life. So thank you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, thank you. Thank you for trusting me and holding space for me and walking this path for me, cause heaven knows, I think it's taken us both places. We didn't think we'd ever go so absolutely.

Speaker 2:

And, as we ask all of our guests here on wisdom rising, how can potential students and or clients get in touch with you?

Speaker 1:

Beautiful. So if you go to our website, moonrisinginstitutecom on our about page I have my bio and my link to book a call with me. You can also go to my personal website, moonrisinginstitutecom On our about page, I have my bio and my link to book a call with me. You can also go to my personal website, which is going to be getting a makeover very soon, but that website is welcometothedeepcom. You can email me personally through that website, as well as book a session. If you're interested in learning more about homeopathy or alternative care for chronic health issues, mental health issues, et cetera.

Speaker 1:

I am currently taking clients, so you can feel free to message me about that. You can just go into our Facebook group and message me directly, or you can find me on Facebook. My name is Isabel Wells W-E-L-L-S, and you can send me a message that way. I am absolutely overjoyed and overflowing with gratitude and joy when I get to work with clients and students, whether that's here at Moon Rising or my own clients, or through homeopathy and alternative healthcare. So whatever is sparking joy, or even if you just want to talk, heaven knows, I love talking about everything that I shared about today, and more so if you just need someone to witness you and talk with you and share your interests and your joy. Please feel free to do so and know that I'm most active in our Facebook group, our Moon Rising Shamanic Mystics Facebook group. I probably post in there two to three times a day, so if you're looking to connect with my energy and just share space, that's definitely the best place to do it.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and Isabel Wells is also one of our primary teachers in our soul rising shamanic Reiki program. That will have another course starting on January 26. So if you would love to be full on student in our four months self-healing container to learn how to shamanic journey as well as deep dive into all of these layers that the shadow work, um, isabel holds super sacred, solid space for that as well and that container. So thank you all for listening. I'm so happy that you have taken the time out of your day, out of your week, to make this a priority, and so until next time, may you awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within. Next time, may you awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for tuning in to today's show. The Wisdom Rising podcast is sponsored by Moon Rising Shamanic Institute. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting app and be the first to know when we release a new episode. Podcasting app and be the first to know when we release a new episode. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok at Moon Rising Institute, or visit our website, moonrisinginstitutecom to learn more about our mission and find future opportunities to connect with our community of shamanic mystics. Once again, thank you for sharing space with us today and until next time, may you awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within.