Wisdom Rising

Breaking Free from Self-Sabotage and Limiting Beliefs

• Christine Renee, Isabel Wells, and Shantel Ochoa • Season 2 • Episode 1

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Join us for a powerful discussion on breaking free from self-sabotaging behaviors and limiting beliefs. Together, we'll navigate the hidden traps of self-sabotage, from perfectionism to persistent self-doubt. These patterns are often shaped by early life dynamics and can manifest in ways that keep us feeling inadequate while holding us back from our dreams and potential.

Join us as we explore how embracing discomfort can be a powerful catalyst for growth, allowing us to transcend the cycle of self-sabotage. Along the way, we discuss self-awareness, triggers, and the importance of self-compassion as key components to navigating and ultimately healing from these negative patterns.

• Exploring limiting beliefs stemming from childhood experiences
• Recognizing triggers as opportunities for growth
• The four stages of self-sabotage
• Techniques for breaking the cycle
• The significance of self-compassion in the healing process
• Engaging with the Higher Self to transcend limiting beliefs
• The step by step process for rewiring your beliefs and stepping into your power
• And more!

Remember to join us in the Moon Rising Shamanic Mystics Facebook group to share your top takeaways and connect with others on this healing journey.

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Speaker 1:

It's time to remember your divine purpose and limitless potential. Welcome to Wisdom Rising, the official podcast of Moon Rising Shamanic Institute. Join shamanic Reiki practitioners Christine Rene, isabel Wells and Chantel Ochoa as we guide you on a journey of radical self-discovery and spiritual guidance. Each week, we'll dance through the realms of shamanism, mysticism, energy healing and personal development to illuminate your path to true healing and self-sourced wisdom Through weekly inspired conversations and interviews with leading spiritual and shamanic practitioners. We are here to help you acknowledge, reconcile and balance your energy so that you can awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within. Welcome back to another amazing episode of the Wisdom Rising podcast. I'm your host for today, isabel Wells, and I'm excited to be joined with Christine René as we talk about breaking free from self-sabotage, how we can shift our mindset and perform some soul healing. In this insightful conversation, we explore the powerful dynamics of self-sabotage, exploring both the psychological roots and the spiritual insights behind these behaviors. We'll discuss how limiting beliefs shape our actions and how recognizing these patterns is key to creating lasting change, from understanding the unconscious forces at play to embracing tools for transformation. This conversation will empower you to break free from the cycle of self-sabotage and step into a life aligned with your true potential. Along the way, we discuss the role of trauma and the limiting beliefs that we form in childhood, give you tangible tools and techniques that you can use to work through and release these limiting beliefs, and explore how owning your actions and stepping out of a victimhood mindset is the key to true healing. This conversation is packed with insight and knowledge, as well as personal examples from our own lives. We've already had lots of people messaging us about the things we share on this topic and we're excited to put them together into a podcast for you today. Before we dive into listening, remember that we would love to hear your top takeaways over in our Moon Rising Shamanic Mystics Facebook group, or you can send us an email at mystics at moonrisinginstitutecom to tell us what you thought about today's show. Don't forget that in January, every Monday and Wednesday, we're hosting live events for you for the entire month. So Mondays at 9 am Mountain Time, 11 am Eastern Time, we'll be having free conversations live on our Moon Rising Institute Facebook page, and every Wednesday at 5 pm Mountain Time, 7 pm Eastern Time, we'll be having free workshops on a variety of different topics. This coming Wednesday, january 8th, we'll be covering cord cutting and energetic cords. Next Wednesday, january 15th, we'll be covering cord cutting and energetic cords. Next Wednesday, january 15th, we'll be covering chakra spinning. And the final Wednesday, january 22nd, we'll be diving into inner child healing. So if you're interested in joining us for workshops on any of these topics, be sure to head over to the event section of our Facebook page or Facebook group or visit moonrisinginstitutecom slash spiritual dash events. Feel free to send us an email for more information on any of these events as well, and we'll put the links in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

If you're ready to register, don't forget that our Soul Rising Shamanic Reiki course is now open for early bird enrollment. So if you're interested in diving into four months of learning how to connect with your guides, shamanic journey, awaken your intuition, all while learning how to release limiting beliefs, heal your traumas, let go of anxiety and depression and step into your truest highest self, then this course might be for you. We'll leave a link in the show notes for you to book a free 15-minute call to connect with us and see if this is the next best step for you. And with all of that said, let's go to the show. We're going to be diving all into breaking self-sabotaging patterns.

Speaker 1:

And I love the timing of this episode as we step into the new year, because I find that the story goes we set our New Year's resolutions, which we covered in our last podcast and then we get like a weekend and suddenly we fall off the wagon. Right, we fall off our goals, we can't stick to it, we start feeling overwhelmed. Whatever it is, this is enough of a universal pattern that it's become a joke around New Year's right. Everybody knows this. Well, if you get to January 5th and you're still keeping up with your resolutions, you're doing a pretty good job.

Speaker 1:

And so this is a really timely conversation, but not just for the holidays, because this idea of self-sabotaging patterns is so much more woven into our daily lives than I think people, people realize there's so many things that we do that can be qualified as self-sabotaging behaviors, and we don't even think about it. And so this is where we want to go back to this idea of, as we do every episode, what's the foundation, what's the basis of what we're talking about? And so, when we talk about having a self-sabotaging pattern, what do we mean? And this is where we need to go even further back and make sure that we're about ourself right, the thoughts that you have about who you are, how the world works, your place in the world, how other people function, your relation to other people essentially every belief or thought that you have about yourself, others or the world come together to form this map, this blueprint of how you're going to act, how you're going to think and who you're going to be. But because this framework is largely formed in childhood, a lot of times, when we have this subconscious mind forming, when we have this map of beliefs and experiences forming, we take on what we would call limited beliefs. And these limited beliefs are beliefs.

Speaker 1:

That happened because we felt unsafe, we got hurt. Someone made an offhand comment and we took it personally. We had trauma. Something happened that made us feel less than it made us feel less than our highest, holiest, fullest selves and because, as children, we are growing up, we are being shaped into adults. We're learning what's right and what's wrong, what's quote unquote good and what's bad. We're learning how to find our way in the world. But that means that sometimes we're going to overstep the mark.

Speaker 1:

Right, even if you didn't have any childhood trauma, the process of being sculpted, if you will, into a functioning adult in society means that every now and then, something is going to happen that makes you go, oh, I did that wrong, or oh, I shouldn't have done that, or oh, I did this thing and somebody else got hurt. And so we start to take on these beliefs about when I do this, then this happens, and a lot of times those beliefs when we're kids because the only frame of reference we have for everything happening in the world is ourselves we take them on about ourselves. So instead of oh, I spoke this way to mom and she had a really hard morning, so she was probably a little frustrated and didn't hear what I was saying accurately we think, oh, I said that thing and mom got really mad, which means I'm a disappointment, I'm bad, I did something wrong, I'm not enough, I'm unlovable, I'm unworthy, whatever it is. And the more that those beliefs get reinforced, the more those become this foundation of our subconscious mind, this foundation of the framework for how we act in the world, and it's those limiting beliefs that are the catalysts for self-sabotaging behaviors. So, if we think about what we were talking about, christine and I, just a minute before we started the podcast, we were talking about how there was this course that I saw that was selling over the weekend and the tagline for the course was become untriggerable.

Speaker 1:

And I get what he's saying right. I get that what he means is that we want to get to this place where we're really rock solid, where what's happening outside of us doesn't impact our internal reality. But I think he slightly missed the mark, because our triggers are the opportunities that we have to grow. They're the opportunities where we have stepped out of our comfort zone and we get to decide how we want to react, how we want to think, how we feel about being in this new place. If we were never triggered, if we became truly untriggerable.

Speaker 1:

The only way to do that is by staying in our comfort zone, by staying with what we know, because our brain, our minds, immediately identify anything about the unknown as scary, bad and wrong. Because when we were a kid and we tried something new and something bad happened, our brain said, oh, that was because it was scary and new and in the unknown and therefore it's bad. All of the bad things happened when I was a kid because I did something new is essentially how your brain goes, and so, as an adult, we try and keep ourselves in our comfort zone. We try and say, oh, I'm not going to go for that new job because I'm not going to get it. I'm not good enough to get that job. Somebody else is better than me. I'm not going to go say hi to that person because they're not going to want to talk to me. Who would want to talk to me and hear what I have to say?

Speaker 1:

And we do it in a way that seems totally logical. Right? Our brain doesn't just come out and say, well, you shouldn't go talk to that person because you're unlovable. Our brain says they're probably busy, they probably don't want to talk right now. Or, yeah, you know what? I don't think I have the qualifications for that job, I don't have this specific requirement that they put on their listing, and it makes it seem really logical and so we follow it. We don't question it because it seems like, yeah, okay, that makes sense. I'm not going to go after this opportunity because, logically, it's not going to happen.

Speaker 1:

But what's really happening at the bottom of that is that our brain has this faulty belief somewhere in it, that limiting belief that we developed in our younger years, something like I'm not worthy, I'm not enough, I'm not lovable. I don't deserve this. The unknown isn't safe, whatever it is, and it's holding on to that. And anytime it sees something that's outside of our comfort zone or that roughly mimics something that happened in our childhood that turned out quote unquote negatively, it shoots up a red flag and it says nope, we are not doing that, we're not going there, we're going to stay in our comfort zone because if you go over there you could get hurt, you could get proven right that you aren't enough, that you are a failure, that you aren't safe, and so we're going to keep you here, where you might not ever grow, but at least you never have to find out if those limiting beliefs that your brain has are actually true. It just keeps you in this perpetual cycle of saying we're just going to assume that we're not enough, we're going to assume that we're not worthy, we're going to assume that we're not lovable because that way at least we're protected, whereas if we were to assume that we're enough and we go out and you try something, then maybe you're going to get proven right that you actually weren't enough. And so your brain has built in this fail safe.

Speaker 1:

And that is the foundation of all of our self-sabotaging behaviors, no matter how logical they seem. And so when we're asking ourselves, what is a self-sabotaging behavior? It's not a question of what am I going after, what am I trying to do, or is it a big thing? Have I ruined multiple relationships? Have I gotten fired multiple times? It doesn't have to be something big. It can be the little, tiny moments where it boils down to the decision that you just made. Did it make you feel less than, or did it make you feel more like your true self? And if the answer is less than, that is a self-sabotaging behavior, no matter what it is.

Speaker 2:

And I think this is a really great place to have this observation of what's your mind saying, what's your human side saying and what is your higher self, the grandest version of you, who you are, who knows that that these, this limitation doesn't need to exist, right that it has that egoic self-protection mechanism that Isabel was just talking about, really holding you in that comfort zone, whereas your higher self wants you to stretch, wants you to grow, wants you to expand and will put you in situations to challenge that right. And so, because it wants you to remember who you truly are, it wants you to remember that you are divine. You're bigger than the limiting belief, you're bigger than that tiny voice in your head. And how do we reclaim that power within ourselves to move from victimhood and into empowerment? And I think this is where the solutions lie oftentimes is when can we feel the trigger, recognize it, have the awareness? Okay, that happened, that felt crappy. This is what's showing up for me having that awareness and then going, stepping back into your higher self, stepping back into that divine version of who you are and going. What is the lesson here? What am I supposed to be learning? How am I supposed to expand so that I can have a different perspective of the situation. And when I can have a different perspective of the situation, then it becomes easier.

Speaker 2:

And I think oftentimes we're missing that self-reflection time. And sometimes I really do need to step away for a day or two, like whether it was a trigger that involved another individual or a situation like I need to remove myself completely to be able to have a really decent amount of self-reflection time, a time to journey to the upper world, meet with my guides, a time to meet with outside support whether that is getting coaching from Isabel or meeting with one of my you know, like my support team of going. What's the message coming in from divine? How do I need to re look at the situation to really understand what the lesson and learnings are? And so often it's like you need to come into your higher self. You need to come into this fullness perspective of who you are, as a divine individual, as an empowered being, and stop playing in the victimhood role, right? So the more that we are feeling triggered, the more that we are victim to our own mindset. And how do we alchemize that? How do we release the limiting beliefs and so oftentimes and people in my world luckily, because I am in the spiritual world whether Isabella or someone else was like wait, wait, wait, wait. Christine, you just said that there's that limiting belief. There it is.

Speaker 2:

There you go again that you feel like you're unlovable, that you are going to not be accepted by the situation, because you're making assumptions around what other people's behavior will be. And we can't assume what other people's behavior would be unless we actually have open and honest conversations with them, right? And so that is the self-sabotaging behavior loop that I find myself falling into. I'm making myself small, that I'm too much, that I'm unlovable, and I'm making assumptions how other people are going to react to me. And so then I'm going to make myself small and to as a self-protection mechanism, and until someone calls me on my BS, I'm like, oh there, it is again, not surprised. Here we go.

Speaker 2:

Okay, now what do I do? How do what practices need to be in place? How do I need to support myself to coming into a wider, broader perspective of who I am, what my mission purpose is? To remind myself that I, my mind, isn't in control, my mind doesn't have to be in control, and I think that's where you know that mind ego space can really slip us up, but I'm going to be consistently like the reason why we have self-sabotaging patterns and we have these loops that we get on is, until we learn it, they're going to continue Right, and so it's.

Speaker 2:

How do we go? Oh there I am, I'm on the loop again. Oh there I go again. I'm on the loop again. Oh there I go, I'm on the freaking loop again. Pause, stop.

Speaker 2:

Why is this happening? How can I pedal all the way back to my childhood and unwind the knots that were created in my soul fabric that caused me to behave this way? That caused my belief system to say you know, I'm not lovable, I'm not worthy enough, people aren't going to give me the attention and love that I need. Right, like, where is that coming from? And so for, like my own personal story like my older sister had a lot of older sister had a lot of social emotional struggles in childhood. My younger brother had gotten hit by a car and lost his foot and had a lot of medical issues. He almost died during that experience.

Speaker 2:

And I was the middle child. That was just supposed to be good. Like I wasn't allowed to have my own problems because my siblings had too many problems and my parents need to give them attention, right, so I can see why I act the way I act, that I just need to be in the middle ground, that I just need a coast and not cause any problems, and that I'm not worthy enough to receive the love, the care, the support from my parents because they didn't have time for that. Right, it's not that they weren't good parents, it's that, like I was in this position that I needed to be, I needed to be okay, I needed to be solid so that they could give their attention elsewhere, right. So, yeah, this whole idea that I'm inherently unlovable because they didn't get enough attention is ingrained in my subconscious, and so I will continuously put myself in situations to prove that fact.

Speaker 2:

And when, like when someone in my life actually is kind to me and I'm like, I'll question it Like why are you being nice? Why are you being kind? People aren't kind to me, like that's not, that's so unfamiliar, because I'm not used to it, since I didn't grow up that way. I didn't grow up with kindness. I grew up with oh, life is hard. Yeah, good luck with that. Pull up your bootstraps. You can do it on your own. There was no leg up. There was no let me help you. There was just watch me in my struggle, right, and that is the way I was raised and that's the way so many people are raised is not there is no, there is no help, there is no support, like you figure it out on your own and so that that cultural and ingraining from my family and the culture I grew up in I grew up on the West Coast and that's a pretty strong West Coast thing Is that now, when someone's actually genuinely kind to me, it can be triggering?

Speaker 2:

I don't trust it. I'm like why are you being nice? Is this a way for you to manipulate me? Is this like I? I will? I definitely is a trigger, and so sometimes your triggers aren't the things that you expect. So recognize this and all of it's to stretch you that like, yeah, there's kind people out there. Is that your trigger? Because if you have this ingrained knowingness that you're not lovable and then someone's kind to you, you're gonna freak out about that and and to go. You know what? I maybe I am worthy of love and care and support, even if I didn't get it as a child. How can I be empowered in myself enough to go. I'm I'm worthy of that kind of love, I'm worthy of that kind of care, and I'm going to say yes, please, and thank you when it shows up in my life please and thank you when it shows up in my life.

Speaker 1:

And this is where that level of self-reflection is so key. Because, for two reasons because a lot of times what happens when we have a self-sabotaging behavior whether it's pushing people away or, for me, my personal, my mind's what I like to call its favorite chew toy the thing that my mind likes to get stuck on is the I'm not enough storyline, and for me, that really presents as this feeling of needing to be perfect, this feeling of needing to have everything under control, everything exactly where it needs to be, all my ducks in a row. I can handle it all. I'm good in the stress, like being on top of everything. And you know, just like Christine, I totally understand how I got to where I am today.

Speaker 1:

I had a really intense childhood and right when I was in the midst of healing from all of that, my brother had really severe mental health issues. My parents' marriage was falling apart. They had twin kiddos that I ended up having to help raise and I didn't have the space to be falling apart. I had really chronic health issues. I had really chronic mental health issues and nobody knew for a really long time, because my role was to hold everything together. My role was to hold not only myself together so that I wasn't a burden on other people, but to hold the family together, and so I totally get it. I have a lot of compassion for my mind and this track that it goes down. But what I noticed is that, especially in my marriage, for example, if I say something that's maybe a little off the hook, or if I have a strong emotion that might cause him to be uncomfortable, say, or something like that, I take it on and I find myself starting to shrink. I get really small, I don't talk as much and I really pour myself into my work. I pour myself into this thing that I can control. But when I do it and this is so key for a self-sabotaging behavior is it's understanding that on the surface of things, the self-sabotaging behavior might not necessarily look like self-sabotaging. So for me, a lot of times, the way that I self-sabotage is by doing too much work or getting quote unquote too invested in my work, and what I mean by that is I pour all of myself into it when I'm working. That is all that I can focus on, and on the surface that doesn't look like a bad thing, but what it's doing is it's helping me to avoid the thing that's actually bothering me. And so this is where understanding that a self-sabotaging behavior can look like, you know, we're actively ruining a relationship or we're getting ourselves fired or we're mis quote, unquote, misbehaving or acting out right, but it can also look like we're avoiding and trying to hide.

Speaker 1:

Think about how kids act if they're struggling with a difficult emotion or situation they either lash out and act out, or they hide and get really small and don't want to talk, they self-isolate. And those patterns are still active in our brains as adults. And so for me, that pattern is one of I hide and I pour myself into something that I know I'm good at. And so that self-sabotaging behavior it might not look like a bad thing, but it's helping me to avoid the actual problem. And so this is where, through this conversation and through this process of reflection, we need to really look at it and come into compassion. First, because if we notice ourselves in a self-sabotaging behavior or, let's say, in a not beneficial behavior because really, if any behavior is not helping you, it's hurting you in a way and so if we're looking at these behaviors that are either causing us to act out and lash out, or they're causing us to hide and self-isolate.

Speaker 1:

What can happen is we notice ourselves in these behaviors and we start the storyline of oh my gosh, I'm so stupid, why did I do that? Why didn't I realize I was doing that? I should have done better, I know better than this. Why am I doing this? And we start beating down on ourselves. But what that's doing is actually reinforcing in your mind whatever limiting belief started the cycle in the first place, and so your mind has caught you in a trap. Your mind has caught you in this process of you started to do something that triggered that limiting belief which catalyzed that self-sabotaging behavior, and then to make sure that you stay in that box and you go back to where you were. The mind then starts to reaffirm the limiting belief that it had in the first place that you're worthless, that you're not enough, that you're unlovable because, oh my gosh, you were so stupid you didn't break out of this cycle, you let yourself get caught up in it. How terrible are you? And it becomes this cycle right.

Speaker 1:

And so we have to step first into compassion. Even before the self-awareness starts, we have to be able to step into compassion and recognize that these patterns, these behaviors, they are our mind trying to keep us safe. That is literally all it is. There is no judgment, there is no blame. There is nothing wrong with you for trying to keep yourself safe. This is again.

Speaker 1:

This is where when I say it's my mind's favorite chew toy and having compassion for the mind, is because I really firmly believe in situations like this, in treating our mind as if it was a small child, because that's really what it is. Our mind is a collection of beliefs and experiences and feelings from our childhood that formed to create this framework in adulthood. And so if we look at our mind as that small child, suddenly everything makes a lot more sense because again we have those two patterns we have lashing out and self-isolation. So we can start to understand and recognize. But we can also think about if a child does something bad and you yell at them, what happens? They get upset, they get worse, they cry, they throw a bigger fit, they feel bad about themselves and they act out or self-isolate more because of it. We all know that the way to help a small child through a difficult emotion or a triggering situation is to talk them through. It is to sit with them and say, hey, I get it, that was really hard, you're doing a great job, let's talk through it together. And so can we do that with our mind.

Speaker 1:

Can we recognize, in the moments when we feel triggered, in the moments when we're in the middle of a self-sabotaging behavior or a cycle that we go on all the time, can we sit in recognition and say you know what? I see you. I see that you are just trying to keep me safe. I see that this is helping me to breathe, this is helping me to come into presence. I see that whatever happened in my life is mimicking something that in the past was really hard or was really scary or caused me to feel less than. And so I see you, I understand that you are just trying to keep me safe. Because when we take that judgment out of it, we break the cycle. We break that cycle of limiting belief, trigger self-sabotaging behavior, reinforcing limited belief. When we bring in that compassion, we cut it off at the source and we say you know what, I understand why I feel the way I feel. I understand why I'm thinking the way that I'm thinking it's okay.

Speaker 1:

And if we think of our minds as that small child. It can help us bring in that compassion, because we wouldn't expect a child to behave any differently than they do. It doesn't have the capacity. And it's the same thing with our minds. I like to tell our students that our minds are like an Excel spreadsheet. You can put all of this data in and you can use the equation function to add it together or average it or maybe even predict the next number. But those predictions are all going to be based on all of the data that you've put in up to this point.

Speaker 1:

It can't just randomly pull out any number without looking at what's come before it, and that's how your mind works. Your mind can only look at your past experiences, assimilate them all, pull something out and throw it into the future as a prediction. It can only predict based on the past. And so when we're in these situations where we're trying to act differently, we're trying to break out of these self-sabotaging situations where we're trying to act differently, we're trying to break out of these self-sabotaging cycles, we're trying to become you know, quote unquote untriggerable right. When we're in those moments, what we're asking our mind to do is the impossible. We are asking it to do something it was never designed to do, which is do something completely without basis in the past, and that's not what the mind does completely without basis in the past. And that's not what the mind does. The mind is like a small child in that it can only pull on its own experiences for how to feel and think and act in the present.

Speaker 1:

And so this is where what Christine was saying about the higher self comes into play, because when we start with compassion for the mind and we say you know what I see. You, I get that you are doing the best you can. You are just trying to keep me safe. You, I get that you are doing the best you can. You are just trying to keep me safe, thank you, and we take the judgment out. We no longer feel worthless for getting caught in those patterns. We no longer feel like we should have done better. We no longer feel like any of these things we step into compassion of. I get it.

Speaker 1:

I understand why I was acting the way I was acting, and I also understand that the solution doesn't exist in my mind, because if my mind was going to get me out of this pattern, it would have done it by now. And that's where we can call in our higher self. That's where we can start this process of self-reflection, of looking at okay, so where did that limiting belief come from? What would have been a different way to perceive that situation? What's a different way to perceive myself now? Can I call in if this is in your practice Can I call in my higher self or my spirit guides, or even just the energy of Reiki to help me shift perspectives and start looking at this through my soul's eyes, through the eyes of my higher self, and let my mind take a breather, because what it's doing right now, this thing that's causing you so much suffering, it is the best it can do.

Speaker 1:

And so until we stop asking it to also have the solution, we're just going to continue in that cycle, because we're looking for answers where answers don't exist. You would never ask a three-year-old to understand exactly why it's feeling the way it's feeling and to be able to walk you through it. You never would. You would just expect it to feel the feeling and try and help it calm down so that you, as the parent, with more wisdom and perspective, can then help them fix it. So we are going to give our minds a break. We're going to say I understand, I have compassion for you, I get exactly why you're acting the way you're acting and I know it's to keep me safe. And I'm now going to go to my soul, I'm now going to go to my higher self, to this being that has more wisdom and perspective to find the answers, because you're doing the best you can and that's okay.

Speaker 2:

I'm over here giggling because at times it feels like a little bit of multiple personalities. Right Like you have this inner child who is throwing a freaking tantrum and my tantrums very much are to validate my emotional experience. Right Like I will have that anxious attachment behavior going. I need a reassurance, I need to know that you love me, I need to know that I'm okay. I need someone outside of myself to give me that reassurance, because I didn't get that as a kid. Right Like, I can see that pattern so I will push my, my, my mind space, my logic, like my that that's a very human side of me wants to throw a tantrum to get what I want out of the situation, which is reassurance. Right, and and then you have your higher self who's like oh honey, you're so beyond that. Like, let's move on, we don't need to do that anymore.

Speaker 2:

And it's very interesting, depending on how you were raised and what your, your like inner child needs will start to manifest the situations, the people in your life to give you opportunity to have more awareness of the pattern. Right, and so it's very much noticing who in your life is mirroring back to you what you need to grow from. Right, right we will create the self-sabotaging patterns and situations and people in our lives to elicit this pattern for ourselves so that we can become aware of it. It's just like if we had health issues I say this all the time You'll hear us on the podcast Our health conditions in our body is trying to get our attention for something underneath it Right in our body is trying to get our attention for something underneath it right. Same thing with our external reality. If we have an unhealed inner child aspect, it is going to elicit situations in our external reality so that we can become aware of it and give it attention that we need.

Speaker 2:

How do we do this? Like there is definitely possibility to have healing relationships, where they're the two that are coming together to trigger one another to go oh, notice this, let's get curious about this. You're being dismissive or avoidant for these situations. You're not feeling what's going on because of why? And then you have the anxious one who is trying to tap into the emotions of the other person because that's what they need. They need to be validated, they need the reassurance, right, and so like what? What relationships and dynamics are you manifesting and are you open and available to have a healing relationship. Is that in the realm of possibility?

Speaker 2:

You can do a lot of this work on your own If you become aware of it. Right, like I think there's a huge piece of. We need to have that, that space, that self reflection time to really understand why am I acting the way I'm acting? What does my inner child need? How can I reparent myself? And then can I bring in my, the person who is part of the trigger to go, if they're willing, if they're open to having a healing relationship. This, this is particularly with spouses, with partners, with, with intimate relationships that, like they want to honor, love and respect you to go. I see what my contribution is to this and I see what my contribution is to this and I see what my own triggers are and this is what my inner child needs and to have the other person do the same and going. This is what I'd love to hear right now. I need reassurance from you and I need X, y and Z so that I won't have this reoccurring pattern going on and really recognizing that we're on a healing journey and that it's okay to have these experiences and to have the reassurance that just because you are doesn't mean that it's going to be over, right, like oftentimes, the fear is that, like there's, you're too much or you're not enough, depending on what that past is, and you are going to self-sabotage to destroy the relationship. Right, and so it's. It's curious, when you have two people who are doing enough of their own healing work and on their spiritual journey to come to the table to do the work together. And that's amazing when that can happen and it's not always plausible. And what can you do to heal yourself, to energetically vibe up, to do the work yourself so that your next relationship doesn't have to be triggering or that you aren't being triggered the same way you are from that person and that you're giving? By healing yourself, you're giving them permission and a roadmap to do their own healing work on their own, like all of those are in the realm of possibility. By healing yourself, you're giving them permission and a roadmap to do their own healing work on their own, like all of those are in the realm of possibility. You don't necessarily need to do it together, but at the same time, your past, your triggers, your self-sabotaging patterns are your responsibility. Your past may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility to continue to heal on it. And what does that look like for you? Like, I think there's so many ways and possibilities that we can go about on our healing journey and it doesn't have to look the same for everyone. Yes, there's definitely counseling. Yes, you can do coaching with Isabel on inner childhood trauma. Like there are so many different ways. You can come join us for soul rising and really do the deep dive, working through the first four chakras to really understand what is your foundation, what's your emotional foundation, that your egoic, your mind, your inner child created so that you can do the inner child healing work while you develop your connection with your intuition and your spirit team, to really do this deep dive. Like there are so many ways to do the healing work that it's.

Speaker 2:

The first step is always to say yes, I'm ready for healing, and I love that phrase, I really do, and I have used it for years and years and years of going are you ready for healing? It's a yes or it's a maybe, or it's a maybe or it's a no. It could be whatever it is. But the people who say yes, I'm ready for healing are the ones ready to do the work. And if there's hesitancy there, there's attachment to the pattern, there's attachment to staying in victimhood, and so we want a full yes, I'm ready for healing, and I say that for myself. Yes, I'm ready for healing and I say that for myself. Yes, I'm ready for healing. I'm telling this to divine, I'm telling this to source. It will continue to give me opportunities to heal.

Speaker 2:

And I recognize that right Like so when I say I'm ready for healing, I'm like all right, here we go again. Here's the roller coaster, here's the opportunity to witness, to recognize how this plays out in life, and to go. I'm also ready for the healing part of where are my tools when? Where am I available to shift? How can I heal myself so that I don't have to repeat these patterns that I innately know that of course I'm lovable, of course I'm worthy, of course I have support in my life. I don't need to play out this childhood tantrum anymore.

Speaker 1:

And this is where you know, as we're having this conversation and we're talking about vibing up and we're talking about how you know, if you're in a conscious relationship, you can bring these conversations to the table All of these can also come together in your self relationship, and so what I mean by this is that once we've gotten to that point of compassion right, once we've gotten to that understanding of my mind is just doing its thing and we start to look at it and we can ask ourselves when was the last time that you had a conversation with yourself, the way that you would have a conversation with your spouse, right? So, if you're not in a conscious partnership where this is something you can bring forward, or even if you are looking at, have you had a conversation like that with yourself, where you sit down and say I'm feeling this way? And the other person will say, okay, well, tell me about it. Why are you feeling that way? What started it? When did you start feeling this way? And then you would say, well, I started feeling this way when, you know, the woman at the grocery store said this thing to me. Okay, well, why did that bother you so much? Well, because it really made me feel like I wasn't doing a good job and I was just in the way and I was a burden and like, okay, well, is that the first therapist, whether that's a coach, whether that's a spouse, the foundation of this healing work is having those open conversations and one of the most empowering things about these cycles, I think, is realizing that you can have those conversations with yourself.

Speaker 1:

You can sit in you know what Christine was talking about earlier as kind of a little bit of that feeling of split personality where you can sit with the part of you that is wounded, with the part of you that is triggered, whether you think of that as your inner child or you think of that as just the wounded part, however you want to conceptualize it. You can sit with the part of you that is struggling and you can then bring in the part of yourself that isn't struggling, the part of you that does know these things, the part of you that knows that this pattern isn't the only option. Because the thing is, if you really truly believed that you were unworthy, if you really truly 100%, no doubts believed that you were unlovable or not enough, you wouldn't even try. So the fact that you're sitting here trying. The fact that you're listening to this conversation, the fact that you are opening yourself up to the idea that maybe this pattern isn't the only way to act, means that there's some part of you that does believe you're worthy, that does believe you're lovable, that does believe you're enough, and it's that part that is pushing you to keep trying. It's that part of you that's pushing you to get better, and so can you tap in to that part of yourselves and allow that part to be the objective observer hosting this conversation, where you sit yourself down and you ask yourself okay, what is it that I'm feeling right now? Can I get really clear on what I'm feeling? And when did I start feeling that way? And is this the first time that I've felt that way, or have I felt this way before? And is there a pattern to the times that I felt this way? And when's the first time that I've felt that way? Or have I felt this way before? And is there a pattern to the times that I felt this way? And when's the first time that I can remember feeling this way and what was happening? And can I, through that, find the experience that started all of this, or a experience, even if you can't pin down the very first one. Can I find the earliest experience I can remember that started this feeling, and can I then put that into a phrase, a belief that I took on about myself because of that situation?

Speaker 1:

Typically, with a limiting belief, we're looking at an I am statement. I am not enough, I am unworthy, I am not lovable. What's the I am statement? And from there, as you're having this open dialogue with yourself, again in compassion, not judging yourself, but really getting curious, can you stay in a curiosity mindset through all of this and recognize this cycle is happening, because there's part of me that's wounded and I'm aware of the cycle that's happening and wanting to fix it, because there's part of me that's not. And can I allow that healed part of myself to have a dialogue with the wounded part of myself so that I can find this root? I can find this beginning experience. I can find this limiting belief and from there can I ask myself what is the benefit of the limiting belief? This is one of my favorite exercises that we teach our students, because I think it can be so powerful.

Speaker 1:

Once you have this belief, let's say I'm not worthy or I'm not good enough. Let's start with I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. And you ask yourself what's the benefit of this belief? You wouldn't be holding onto that belief if it wasn't at some point beneficial and is still benefiting you in some way. You would have stopped believing it by now if it wasn't helping you.

Speaker 1:

So what's the benefit of this belief? And if you ask yourself what's the benefit of believing I'm not good enough, you might think to yourself well, it means I don't have to try as hard. If I genuinely think I'm not good enough at anything, I don't have to try as hard. Okay, great. So then what's the benefit of that benefit If you don't have to try as hard? What is not trying get you? What's the benefit of not trying as hard? Well, the benefit of that might be then I never have to find out if I fail. I never have to find out if I'm actually good enough.

Speaker 1:

And so suddenly you realize oh, the reason I've been holding onto this limiting belief is because it gets me this thing. It allows me to not try, it allows me to not find out if I'll fail, it allows me to not have to wonder or be faced with the possibility of actually not being good enough. And so then you hold it up and you look at it and you say, on the one hand, I've got this feeling that I'm not enough. I've got this feeling that I'm not good enough and, on the other hand, I have all of these opportunities, I have the life that I want to live, I have the person that I want to be. And right now, what I'm saying is that it is more worth it to me to believe that I'm not enough and continue, just not trying and just stay where I am, in that limiting belief, in that wounded place, than to try and potentially fail. Right, that's the risk. Everything comes with risk. But I'm saying that it's more worth it to me to believe that I'm not good enough and never try than to take a risk and potentially achieve the life that I want.

Speaker 1:

And is that balance worth it to me? This is the question that we have to get to with all of our limiting beliefs and all of our self-sabotaging cycles is is the pattern that I'm in right now worth the sacrifice of the life that I want to have? And the beauty of this question is there's no wrong answer. You can absolutely say yeah, you know what. It's worth it to me to stay in my comfort zone. It is worth it to me to keep feeling this way because I don't want to try. And that's your free will, that is your autonomous choice.

Speaker 1:

But if there is that part of you that says I don't want to stay here, I don't want to do this anymore, I want what's on the other side, but I'm just afraid. Don't let the fear stop you, because all fear is is a signpost. It's not a red flag, it's not a stop sign. It's not telling you you're going in the wrong direction. Fear is telling you that you are on the cusp of where you have been and where you haven't. That's all fear is. It's a road sign that says, hey, you're about to step into the unknown. You sure you want to do that, and so can we start looking at fear as an opportunity instead of a roadblock, instead of an obstacle, instead of a sign that we're doing something wrong? Can we look at that fear as just say, hey, heads up, you're about to step into the unknown. Are you ready? And can we use it as an opportunity to really genuinely be honest and open with ourselves? Am I ready to step into the unknown, knowing that either option is okay. You can say no and go back to what you're doing. That's fine. No one is forcing you to do this. But if you can genuinely make that empowered choice and say, yeah, you know what, it's not worth it to me to stay in this cycle. It's not worth it to me to hold on to this belief because I want this life. And, yeah, I might be scared, but I know that's just my fear telling me I'm about to step into the unknown and I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to do it scared, because fear isn't an obstacle. It's not a no, it's not a red flag, it's a hey, heads up, and you can take it with you. You can say you know what? It's just my brain once again trying to keep me safe.

Speaker 1:

And suddenly we have this really amazing path through our triggers, through our self sabotaging behaviors, where we start with compassion. We bring in that part of ourselves that does want to get better and we ask those questions to find what's the limiting belief that got triggered. What's the thought about myself that I'm struggling with here? What's the benefit of believing that? What's the benefit of that benefit? What is believing that belief getting me or letting me not do right. It's letting me not try as hard. It's letting me not find out if I'll fail. What's it giving me? And is that benefit worth everything that I'm sacrificing? Is it worth not trying to have the life that I want? Is it worth not going after the person? Is it worth not having the job? Because if we're never trying, we're not just giving up the idea of risk. Right, if we're not trying over here, if we stay stuck in our limiting belief, it's not that we're just not trying to get the job or we're not trying to get the partner, it's that we're not going to have the job, we're not going to have the partner.

Speaker 1:

No-transcript. We look at it as a signpost, as an opportunity to take a deep breath and say look at me, I'm doing something new, I'm going somewhere I have not gone before. I am in uncharted territory. And how amazing is it that you have done so much work to be able to get to the point that you're scared. That's amazing that you are at the point where you're stepping into the unknown and can you just take a deep breath and take one more step? Because once you take that last step, that's the hardest one, that first step through fear into the unknown.

Speaker 1:

But once you're on the other side, you will have done it. You will have broken that self-sabotaging pattern. You will have gotten a one-up on that limiting belief. You will have started a new neuron of growth in your brain that says no, I am worthy, no, I am enough, no, I am exactly where I need to be. And it's repeating this process over and over, and over and over again. That's going to get you where you want to go, because it's not going to be a one and done.

Speaker 1:

It would be lovely, right? It would be lovely if we could stop a self-sabotaging behavior once and then we were done. That would be amazing. And it's not how it works. It's not. We have to do it over and over and over again, and that's why we come back always to that compassion of no matter how many times you fall down. It doesn't matter that you fell down, it doesn't matter that you got stuck in the cycle. What matters is did you get back up? Did you do the work? Did you let yourself keep going? And if the answer is yes, then you did everything you were meant to be. And when we can keep that moving, that's how we heal. It's in those moment to moment decisions, and that consistency and that compassion with ourselves.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I love that. Not only am I over here like making my own notes, because it was very interesting, like I kind of slipped into this limiting belief, self-sabotaging pattern on solstice, and it was really interesting that that was like the day, because I was at a chakra dance class, which was amazing. I had this phenomenal experience and I was talking with one of my students after class of divine timing and divine orchestration and like, not once we're in that head space of just trusting the universe and how things need to unfold, it's going to be a lot easier, right. We're going to trust that whatever shows up in our life is exactly where it's meant to be. You're exactly in the right timing. You're exactly ripe for that opportunity to learn and to grow and to shift and to change and to understand. And and it was like that moment of I'm so glad that conversation happened because the the way the rest of the week unfolded was like so triggering and to be able to go back to that memory of that conversation and going.

Speaker 2:

All of this is happening exactly for a reason. All of this is happening so that I have this opportunity to heal. All of this is to let myself know that I have a choice in this, and I can choose the empowered path path or I can choose to remain a victim of this circumstance and having this broader crown chakra awareness of everything is falling into place, as it should be, knowing that there is this under underlying awareness from my higher self that says that really has this knowingness that the universe has my back, it's this or something better. There's always a more opportunities coming that are going to reflect your worth, and so I get to say the moment I love me a hundred percent, completely and release the limiting beliefs that I'm unlovable or I'm too much or I'm unworthy. Once those go away, I open to a whole new frequency that says I am worthy.

Speaker 2:

So maybe my, my fear is that I'm going to become so lovable, like everyone's going to love me, everyone's going to want my energy and attention, and maybe there's self-sabotage in that. Like what if I'm so lovable and everyone wants my attention and energy that it becomes too much and myself sabotaging, because I know that my greatness and my energy is actually something that will be so unfamiliar that I won't be comfortable in it, and so I make myself small, right? So we have this dichotomy going on inside our minds, inside our souls of this stretch of am I? I'm not lovable, but what if I absolutely am? And then what will that look like? And that's outside my comfort zone. We have this like push and pull stretch that we're available for If we're willing to to step into that uncomfortable zone and do the self-reflection and do the work, and it it doesn't always feel good.

Speaker 2:

Right, I think that's like we all know that. We all know that when we're triggered, when we're activated, then we it is uncomfortable. It is this opportunity Well, I can hit the repeat button or I can shift, and then the shifting is also uncomfortable. It's not necessarily easy to go. You know what? I am worthy, I am lovable, I am just where I'm meant to be to make new decisions, choices, life changes and in that newness, because it doesn't match my past, it's going to be uncomfortable, right, and so we get it. We have the choice to stay the same or to grow. We stay the same or to grow, and I hope that I always choose to grow, and it might be baby steps and it might be big leaps, and whatever it is, I'm searching for that edge of my comfort zone and being willing to be on the edge of my comfort zone and to advocate for what I need and desire to walk as safely and comfortably as possible, while still willing to do the work and to grow Like. What does that look like for you?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, and so in this conversation and in all of our conversations, whether you join us over in our Moon Rising Shamanic Mystics Facebook group or you follow our Facebook page, or you join our newsletter or you listen to our podcast or any of it, with everything that we do, I hope that we bring you an invitation to just try, an invitation to get curious, an invitation to be compassionate with yourself and open with yourself and look at everything as an opportunity instead of a burden, or an opportunity instead of another reason that you failed or another reason you shouldn't try. Let's see. Can we bring everything to the table and say, okay, what if I could heal? What if there was a different way? Can we hold that space for you and give you a community, give you a space where you can ask the hard questions, where you can do this work, where you can be honest with yourself about the self-sabotaging behaviors that you're experiencing, but be honest in a way that is compassionate and open and curious and allows you to grow and allows you to face the discomfort of the unknown, knowing that that's where growth happens, that's where your highest self is, that's where the life that you want to live is. And so can we extend an invitation to you to come join us in the unknown, to come join us in that growth space, to come join us in the potential and the possibility of having the life you want to have and being the person you want to be. Because if we can hold each other through that discomfort, if we can hold space for each other through that growth, it's going to make everything so much easier. And so we would love to hear your top takeaways from today's conversation over in our Moon Rising Shamanic Mystics Facebook group, If you're not a part of that group.

Speaker 1:

It's a fantastic group of thousands of people who are doing this work and having these conversations and holding space for each other. And I love our Facebook group because I'm part of a great many shamanic and energy healing Facebook groups and I have noticed that our group is one of the very few that I never see negative comments. I never see mean words. I never see anything like that. Everyone is so loving and compassionate and connected and open, and so if you're looking for a space like that, please come join us in our Facebook group. And in the meantime, we would love to know how you're going to apply this to your daily life, how you're going to take this information and start working through your self-sabotaging behavior, Start being compassionate with your limiting beliefs and if you want support for that, know that Christine and I both do one-on-one sessions to help guide you through it.

Speaker 1:

And if you're looking for a deeper dive, we do have our soul rising shamanic Reiki program open for enrollment right now for early, early bird enrollment for two more days. So if you are interested in this and you know you want to do this work, you know you want to dive in deeper. You want to get an even more comprehensive look at how we can be compassionate with ourselves, how we can work through our limited beliefs and our self-sabotaging cycles and we can heal our traumas and heal our inner child, all while learning how to cut cords and spin and heal our chakras and connect with our spirit guides and learn how to shamanic journey and all of it. If you want to do this work, let us know. We would love to see if soul rising is the right fit for you.

Speaker 1:

And in the meantime, thank you for listening, Thank you for tuning in and thank you for saying yes to you. Thank you to that healed part of you that knows that you have the opportunity to grow, that you have the opportunity to heal, that you have the opportunity to do this work, and we are so grateful to be able to do it with you. So thank you for tuning in and until next time may you awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within. Thanks for tuning in to today's show.

Speaker 1:

The Wisdom Rising podcast is sponsored by Moon Rising Shamanic Institute. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting app and be the first to know when we release a new episode. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok at Moon Rising Institute, or visit our website moonrisinginstitutecom to learn more about our mission and find future opportunities to connect with our community of shamanic mystics. Find future opportunities to connect with our community of shamanic mystics. Once again, thank you for sharing space with us today and until next time, may you awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within.