Wisdom Rising

A Past Life Bleedthrough with Guest Stephanie Peters

• Christine Renee and Shantel Ochoa • Season 4 • Episode 17

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A single phone call felt like lightning in the body, and everything changed. That’s how Stephanie’s story begins—a sudden, magnetic pull that cracked open visions, relentless poems, and a grief that didn’t belong to this lifetime. We invited her to share the journey from “I’m losing my mind” to published poet, from spiraling nights to grounded sovereignty, and how a past-life regression gave shape to a mystery that words like chemistry could never hold.

In this episode, we’ll explore:

🌕 Clear cognizance, visions, and cognitive dissonance 

🌖 The spiral into suicidality and seeking help 

🌗 Therapy limits and turning to psychic support 

🌘 Finding a “soul doctor” (that's Christine!!) and building sovereignty 

🌑 Journeys, darkness at the edge, and sovereignty 

🌒 Making boundaries with a past self 

🌓 Assembling poems into a healing chronology 

🌔 Hope, persistence, and choosing this life 

We walk through the hard parts with care: cognitive dissonance that made reality blur, days of shaking that looked like seizures, and the fear of speaking up in case help meant being dismissed or medicated. Stephanie explains how therapy helped until it didn’t, and how a layered path—psychic guidance, Shamanic Reiki, sovereignty statements, nature, and Soul Rising—steadied her nervous system and returned her to the present. Along the way, the house hummed with strange phenomena, the treadmill surged on its own, and a closet became a chorus of footsteps. These moments aren’t just plot points; they’re lessons in energy hygiene and boundaries. 

Stephanie’s book, A Past Life Bleed Through, collects poems received in the storm and arranges them into a map—from rupture to integration. You’ll hear why community matters, how shared patterns across journeys validate experience, and why trees became unexpected teachers in transmuting fear into steadiness. 

If you’re curious about past lives, energy healing, spiritual emergence, or how creativity can become a lifeline, this story offers both language and tools. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more seekers find their footing. Then tell us: what practice keeps you anchored when the unseen gets loud?

Purchase: 

A Past Life Bleedthrough


Learn more about Soul Rising: https://moonrisinginstitute.com/soul-rising/

Moon Rising Shamanic Institute Links:
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Subscribe to the Newsletter: https://moonrisinginstitute.kit.com/spiritguide

Book a session with Christine: https://calendly.com/christinerenee/90-minutes-intensive

Book a FREE 10 minute connect call with Christine: https://calendly.com/christinerenee/10-minute-connect-call-srpt

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to Wisdom Rising, the podcast of Moon Rising Shamanic Institute. Join shamanic Reiki practitioners Christine Renee and Chantel Ochoa as we dance between worlds of shamanism, mysticism, and energy healing. Each week we illuminate your path to self-sourced wisdom and attune you to the whispers of wisdom rising from within. Welcome back to Wisdom Rising. I'm your host, Christine Renee, and we have got a special guest on with us today. Stephanie Peters is a soul rising graduate here at Moonrising Shamanic Institute, as well as one of my previous clients. And she is now a published author. And I am incredibly so proud of her journey and really watching from the deep depths of her dark night of the soul and how she kind of moved and shifted and aligned all the way through this process to becoming an author of the journey that she experienced. And it's it's a very unique book because it's not a story of the journey, it's a poems of the journey. So I'm really excited to have you on today. Thank you so much for being here, Stephanie. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so excited to have you. So I one, I think I was surprised that you published the book. Like I you didn't tell me that was in process. So when I saw it come out, I was like, what? What is this? I have got to know what this is. And then I saw that you were doing some podcasts on other shows. I was like, oh my goodness, this is this is it. This is the real deal. And I was like, oh, we got to have you on Wisdom Rising as well. So I'm excited to hear about how all of that process is going. How is it landing for you now that it's published and done? And then we'll get into your story of how it came about. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, well, you know, doing the book was very cathartic because um, as we'll discuss as we go further along, I never set out to write these poems. I never, they were given to me. I mean, they were downloads, they were given to me when they first started coming to me. I didn't really know what they were. I thought I was developing a second personality. I had no, I used to say she because I'm talking about someone else. I really thought I was going insane. Um, but then as more time went on, I realized, like as I started to heal working with you guys, and I started to heal, I realized that they kind of told a story because they were, they came to me during different phases and stages of this journey. And I realized when I put them together, I was like, that was the beginning. That was this part. Then I realized I was like, oh my gosh, like this is what happened to me kind of in poem form. And so that's when I kind of decided I really just need to publish this.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm really excited that you did. Well, I know I would like at some point for you to read the first poem in the book because it kind of encapsulates what these poems are. But before we get there, I would love for you to share your personal journey of how this came to be, how we met. And I know we don't have like that could take hours and hours and hours. I'll I'll condense it, I'll squeeze it together. Okay, perfect. I would like to get a dense version. And I know that if people had more questions or want to get in contact with you, we'll we'll put that information in the show notes as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, yes, definitely, definitely, definitely. So um it started. I was a real estate, well, I'm still a real estate agent, but at the time I was a real estate agent and a special ed teacher, and I did real estate on the side. I had a listing. Um, I had a client call in and I can remember every detail so vividly. It was like slow motion, but fast at the same time. Literally felt like I was struck by lightning. Um, I thought, oh gosh, I'm getting sick or something. I it was just so overwhelming. Um, and I heard his voice, and the second I heard his voice, it was, I mean, it was cosmic. It was supernatural. I had no idea what it was. Um, then I proceeded to show him properties. The first property that I showed him, just being in the vicinity of each other, was I don't know, it was the most electric, magnetic, stagnant thing I'd ever felt in my life. And I had no idea what was happening to me. Mind you, he's young, I'm old, I'm married, you know, like the whole, and I'm like, I got this all wrong. I have to be interpreting this all wrong. Something's I don't understand what's happening. Um, that particular day, that first day when I got in the car, my husband was actually with me and he said, Do you know him? And I said, No, why? Mind you, I'm still trying to breathe. I can't breathe.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm just like, you know, and I said something is going on. Like it's almost like it was such a cosmic connection that it was so overwhelming. You felt it in your entirety, body, mind, and spirit. And you knew something was up, but you couldn't figure it out yet.

SPEAKER_01:

I had no idea. Yeah, I felt like I could feel my cells moving, like I could, I felt like I could feel my cells vibrating inside of my body. Um, and then for my husband to say something, it's like we were encapsulated in some sort of energetic bubble that even he felt. Um, and so I was like, no, I've never met him before. I don't know anything about him. I was very calm on the outside, but on the inside, I mean, there's like you know, the Gulf of Mexico waves crashing inside of me. Like I had so this whole thing proceeded to uh go on. We proceeded to have this most unusual, bizarre connection. Um, and I just gave it any label I could give it. I mean, I just gave it he's he was in the military. I'm like, he's young, he's a kid, he's in the military. Um, you know, I grew up very strong military, very, very strong. Um, daddy served like 30 years, you know, retired from the Air Force. So I thought, okay, it's just the military thing. It's just the, I mean, just anything I could give it. Um, and things spiraled out of control real quick. I mean, things spiraled out of control real quick. The connection just got stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. I knew that I had to step away, but I couldn't step away. And it just became this clash of emotions that were there, but emotions for here and now that I knew didn't go together, didn't fit, didn't belong.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. So did he feel all of this too?

SPEAKER_01:

He did, but he because I was married and he knew I was married, and I'm way older than him. It was this whole thing where we was like the elephant in the living room. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So we did he did you feel like there was a romantic attraction?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh I felt a little bit of all of that. I felt a little bit of a romantic attraction, but I also felt something just so big that I couldn't, I couldn't give it a label. I still struggle to give it a label um because it was like, I don't know how to say it besides like just cosmic. Like I just felt something massive that I knew was bigger than me, that I knew was bigger than here, that I knew was bigger than now. Um, and I just it it was it was all of these things. It was too many things to put my finger on, but I also knew that I needed to stay away. But it was kind of hard because the draw, the pool, and so um, you know, we stayed friends, we talked it, you know, kept it where it was supposed to be. Um and then at some point, this is where I really lost it. This is where you guys kind of started to come in. Um at some point, we just stopped talking, you know, we cut it off. And at for a couple of days it was fine. But then after a couple of days, and mind you, the poems are already already starting to come at this point, but I don't know what they are. They're coming, words are coming, words are coming, and my head is like a hamster in a wheel. It's just going so fast all the time, and I just couldn't breathe. And it was like everything that I did was I was here, but I wasn't here. I like I was living.

SPEAKER_00:

It's like when you met him, you kind of almost stepped into a different dimension where reality was shaken.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it was like I knew I was here, but I but but but I wasn't here, but I didn't know I was here. And I could also, I was also having visions. I could also see me in different clothing, I could see him in different clothing, I could see a different home, I could see me doing my daily chores, I could see me taking care of a home, I could see our a land, a farm. And these things came at me like I really thought I was developing a second personality. Like I thought I what, you know, I there are movies where people have multiple personalities, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that's how I'm I'm losing my mind. I'm going, I'm losing my mind. I'm developing a second personality.

SPEAKER_00:

Um before meeting him, would you say that you were hyper spiritual or were a medium or any of those things, or was this all new and fresh?

SPEAKER_01:

So I've always had what I call a knowing. And you've got to remember, I grew up in a time with no internet. So when I was a little kid and I would know things and I was a teenager, the first time I remember knowing something was when I was 13, my dog died. And my dog died outside in the street, got hit by a car, and I knew it. And I was in the in the in the bathroom crying, and my mom was knocking on the door, and I locked the door to not let her in. Cause in my 13-year-old mind, if she couldn't come in and she couldn't tell me it didn't happen. Um, and so sure, I mean, of course, she did come in and tell me, and she could see I was already crying, and she's like, What's wrong? I haven't told you anything. So um, I always had like what I call a knowing, but I didn't know what it was. I didn't know, I didn't know other people didn't do it. I didn't know that it wasn't like I just kind of thought maybe everybody had a little bit of this. Um, and so I always had that. I always had that, I always had a gut feeling. Um, another example is one of my daughters was pregnant and the doctors told her she wasn't pregnant. And I'm like, Yes, you are. And she's like, No, I'm not. And I'm like, Yes, you are, you know, like I just you just knew. Yeah, you just knew, and I don't know how to tell you that I know, other than I know. Yeah. I mean, I I I wish I had a better description, but and that's like very clear, clear cognizant.

SPEAKER_00:

When you know like you know, like you know, but you don't know why. So that seems like it sounds like that was like your underlying spiritual lifelong gift. But when you met this man, that kind of took it to a whole new whole new level, whole new level. Where it was interfering in your everyday life, every moment of your life.

SPEAKER_01:

Every moment of every day I was it was, and and of course it was taboo, right? Because I'm married. I mean, I'm happily married, like I'm not, you know, wasn't searching, I wasn't um so, anyways, he decided one day that he was just gonna stop talking to me. And he didn't tell me, he didn't communicate this, he just stopped talking to me. Um, and so for a couple of days I was okay, but I slowly began to spiral out of control, and all I felt was death, and all I saw was death, and everything was dark and death and dark and death, and and it just repeated over and over in my mind death, death, death. And um, I literally drove past his house four or five times just to see that his truck moved because logically I knew he wasn't dead, but mentally and emotionally, in you couldn't convince me he wasn't dead.

SPEAKER_00:

I had dreams, I felt deaf, like no it's gotta be confusing if you're such a clear cognizant that know, like they know, like they know to get the feeling of he's dead, and then you're checking yourself.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. And so logically, I know better. He's not dead. His truck is moved, he's gone to work, he's just not talking to you. Suck it up, get over it. I don't know what's happening. And then on the other hand, no, he's dead, he's he has passed away, you know, and and it was it was just like this all day.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that cognitive dissonance of like combating yourself and not knowing what the truth is.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and during this dark time, there were days I wrote 15, 20 poems a day. I mean, there were days I um it was on I used to watch these videos of people like automatic writing. I mean, it was like that, like it was verbal vomit, like it was verbal. These were, and so I started writing everything down.

SPEAKER_00:

And you had never written poetry before.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I have never written poetry before, but I can say I have always been very interested in poetry. I've always been drawn to it, I've always liked it. When I was a little kid, my mom didn't necessarily read me stories, she read me poetry. Um, she sang me poetry. So um, poetry is something that has always been a like of mine. Was I good at it? Did I try to write? Absolutely not. Did I appreciate it very much? Yes, I mean very much.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, you know, and here's this like night and day switchover. You meet this man, you have this cosmic relationship, but you don't know what it is, and then these poems start flooding through you. And the moment that the relationship feels like it's over because he's shut the door for do you does did he did you ever get a reason on why he was like, I can't handle this friendship?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, no, you know, he I don't know how to describe it. Like he comes and goes. He comes and goes, he comes in, checks in, says hi, goes. He won't point blank acknowledge what's happening. He's kind of like the runner, you know? It's like he knows there's something there, and you know from his actions that he knows there's something there. But whenever I try to have like an in or have tried to have like an in-depth conversation and it starts to get real and serious, he kind of backs away. Yeah. And I don't know if he's backing away because because he just because it's overwhelming and it's too much, or if he's backing away because I'm married. Like these are things I don't, these are things I don't know. And this, I mean, when I first met this person, he was 26 years old. Right. He's a baby.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, he's just a young guy. So yeah, here you and are in this process, he kind of closes that door to to continuing communication. Is he still 26 or has this been going on for a few years?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I think by this time he's maybe 28. This is maybe a couple years in.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so we're a couple years in. How is your husband handling all of this?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, so back then, there back then, he didn't know, nobody knew because I first off, I first off, I well, he knew we talked. He knew that he knew we talked. Um, because you know, this kid stationed here, he's in the military, he knows how passionate I am about the military. He was military, so he was just nothing but just some kid that would I was just helping that was stationed here in the military. Like, that's it. That's it. All of these other things I kept to myself completely. Nobody knew. I didn't tell anybody. Um, and I think that also contributed to my spiral. Uh, because I am I'm very much um, my body reacts to a lot of things. I have a very sensitive body. My body reacts to food, medicines, all of these things. When I get a new medicine, I'll hang it on the doorknob in like a bag, a grocery bag, because in case I react, he can grab it and go, you know? Um, and so I was terrified that like, okay, if I'm crazy and they lock me up and they drug me up, like I'm gonna die. Like I'm gonna, I'm gonna die. And so I just I just kept telling myself, you'll figure this out, you'll figure this out. But as I'm telling myself this, I'm a snowball rolling downhill, spiraling out of control, not really realizing it. Um, so then when I got to that really dark place, um, I became very suicidal. Um, this is gonna be hard for you to talk about. Um, I literally sat in the shower, um, in the closet, and I just sat there with a gun and I just debated over just ending it because it was so dark and it was so black. And I got to the point where I saw no light. I saw no way out. I saw no light. Um, and I was afraid to reach for help because I was afraid I would be labeled like, you know, as crazy or whatever, I would be medicated, any of those things. And so um, somehow or the other, through the grace of God, I pulled myself out of that cycle. I pulled myself out. I don't know how I did it. I can't tell you. It was pretty dark. Um, and even when I would say that when he stopped talking to me, it was November. I would say it was March before I knew I was gonna live. I wasn't okay. I wouldn't say I was okay, but I would say that I knew I was gonna live. I could say that I could see light at the end of the tunnel. I was still in a dark space. Um and was this like otherly voice persona in your mindscape very present in the oh yes, it was very much like, yes, it was very much like, I mean, and and and not only did I have the the that, I had visions. I mean, I had visions, and my visions were like like my visions were like, I mean, I could see our home. I could see him coming in at the end of the day, I could see him coming home for lunch. I can see how I cooked, I can see where I cooked outside of our house. I know where our farmland was, I know where our barns were. I know, and I just thought, I thought I was making all this up. I thought I was insane. I thought I was developing another personality that was creating a whole new life.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, and so um, and I would fight it. I would, and and then that, and so then mind you, so I'm having the visions, I'm having the poems. My brain was just like go, go, go, go, go all the time, 24 hours a day. Um, I literally woke up some days and couldn't breathe. It was like I was thrown, like shoved out, and I write that in one of my poems. It was like, it's like I was in the ocean and I just busted through the water, you know, and I just woke up going, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

So when did you start putting the puzzle pieces together that this was something more than just fantasyful visions? Right. So really connect them into past life.

SPEAKER_01:

So when he came back, so he came back, he disappeared in November, and in June or July of that next year, he called me again. And the minute he called me and I answered the phone, I knew right then and there you need help. I don't know what this is. You are clearly sane enough that you pulled yourself out of where you were because a lot of people who are there they can't get themselves out. And I'm like, you got yourself out one foot here and one foot here. So clearly you're not as insane as you think you are. Something's happening. So when he called in um June or July, whatever it was, I immediately called and scheduled therapy with a regular therapist. I couldn't see her until September. So I had to wait all of that time. When September came, I started regular therapy. Regular therapy worked for a while. It worked for a little while, but I noticed that it was like I kind of noticed there like that double personality thing. I'm like, okay, she's helping this, but I have all of this over here. I don't know what it is. And as she helped this, this spiraled out of control, even more so. And I just, and then I got to the point where I was losing it in our therapy, and she was telling me because it was virtual. So she was telling me, I'm gonna have to call somebody. So then that started to feel like a threat. And then I wasn't telling her the things I knew I needed to tell her. Yeah, so I knew that wasn't working anymore, but I was still having things happen, and my visions and my poems were coming. I mean, rapid fire, rapid fire, rapid fire. Um, I have other weird things going on at the same time in your oh, oh yeah, we had the electric electricity, and my house went crazy. Um, and when I called. Contacted you out of a closet behind my bedroom, behind my bed. It sounded like there was a herd of elephants in there playing rugby. Like my husband and I would literally lay in bed. I cannot make this stuff up. And the wall behind us, I we just literally just laid there and listened to what was, I don't know, like I mean, like I said, elephants playing rugby. And and you could open that closet door and it almost felt as if things were just walking. You could feel the energy. Just, I mean, I I just I can't even begin to describe it. And then um, one of the things that happened to me was I had a treadmill at the time because I started really exercising hard. Like I would literally run myself to collapse because I just, you know, needed to move it that energy too. Yes. Yes, yes. So I had a treadmill. I was on my treadmill one day. Um, this is just an example of things that happened. Um, electricity went haywire all the time. But I was on my treadmill and I was on it and it kicked itself up to 12. And I mean, and I had broken my elbow at the time and my elbow was healing. I had to take my arms and push myself up off of there with a healing broken elbow to try not to get flung off of there. And I was so, I was like in my mind, I'm thinking they're trying to kill me. Like they're they want me dead. They're trying to kill me. And that treadmill was probably a$1,500 treadmill. I sold it for$200. I'm like, just go. I mean, what did I? It wasn't the treadmill. It was me. It was my I mean, I know now it was my energy vibration frequency because I was in such desperation. I guess I had in, you know, had invited things in. And but at the time I didn't know when a treadmill gone. Um, so yes, we had, I mean, lots of things. I mean, when I did my first session with you, you were like, oh yes, oh yes, they're there. Like you, yeah, you nailed it. You were like, Yep, they're there.

SPEAKER_00:

You're full of them. You got lots of them. You're got all kinds of things going on. So yeah. So we're we're now in like September. He's called you. You know you're in therapy. Therapy's not working. What was your next step after the therapy?

SPEAKER_01:

So I had a lady that was a psychic that I saw regularly. Um, I wouldn't say regularly, but I saw her enough, right? I saw her, she's a local psychic. She does the metaphysical fair in Galveston. I've had a lot of communication with her. I know her well, uh, well enough. I know her business-wise well. Um, so I scheduled a few appointments with her. Um, and the last of well, one of the appointments I had with her, she said, you know, this is really some past life stuff. She said, and that's not my realm. Like, that's not what I do. And I'm like, well, what does that mean? What do I do with that? You know, what what and she said, well, how about you get hypnotized? So she sent me the information to a past life hypnotist, and I got hypnotized. Well, that's when everything blew up and made up even more. Blew up, right? That's when everything blew up but made sense at the same time because I remembered my past life. Um, I remembered his name. Um, a lot of the visions that I had been having the past life regression compounded on those. Um, apparently I lost him in that past life. He died, and I held him in my arms as he died. Um, I was miserable after he died, and I apparently just let myself go. I just let myself die. I remember being in the coffin. I remember waiting for him to come find me. I sat on my coffin. I got, you know, after I died. Yeah, I just sat on my coffin and waited for him to come find me. Um, and apparently in my hypnotism, I was literally thrashing and screaming and crying and carrying on. Um, and she was trying to bring me out of it and I wasn't coming out. I was not coming out. I didn't want to come out. I and I literally bowed up my chest at her and got in her face and said, I'm not coming back and you can't make me. You know, and I was like, his name in my past life was Gerald. And it must have been a hard spelling because every time I said his name, I spelled it. And I said, G-E-R-R-O-L-D. And I said, I'm not leaving and you can't make me. I'm staying here and I'm waiting for my Gerald and you're not gonna stop me. Like I got aggressive, got physically aggressive. So this like one hour um uh uh hypnosis session turned into like three. This poor woman was so exhausted when she left me because it took me a long time to come out. And I remember she had me raise my arms up and she tapped and patted me all the way down. And I mean, she just really like she did a lot of physical things. Like, I wouldn't say they were aggressive, but they were firm. She did a lot of firm physical things to bring me back.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you get why she needed to do that at this point?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I mean, I kind of think so, because one of the things that I had to do for me, and I and I wrote a poem about this too, when I really felt like I was losing like grip here, I would strip myself naked and make my husband take his clothes off, not for a sexual thing, and literally just be skin to skin. And I would repeat to myself over and over, my name is Stephanie, I'm this old, I live here, I have this many dogs. I and I would just repeat over and over and over and over the facts of my life.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, now it's like all of that is like pulling your energy and essence back into physical, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And I mean, I did that on my own. Like I just was like, I needed to feel skin, and I would I would literally just lay there and cry and you know, test I'm Stephanie, I'm you know, whatever years old, the years whatever 2021, you know, um, and I would just repeat it over and over, sometimes for like an hour, and just lay there naked, skin to skin. Um, so this is what brought me to you is after that hypnotism, I still had all the crazy stuff going on in my house. My my head and my mind, and everything is still just like this. I started to have what I call seizures. I didn't know what to call them. I started shaking and the shake was deep. I mean, it was deep. It was like muscles I can't control. And next thing I know, like like ripples in the water, you know, like ripples, it would just vibrate out of my whole body. And I would just, I would start shaking so hard. And I was cognizant, but I wasn't. Like I knew I was shaking, but I wasn't fully aware of my surroundings. I wasn't fully aware of everything going on. It was just kind of like a I wasn't all here. I don't know how I knew I was shaking, but I didn't know a lot else. I mean, I didn't know a lot else. And my brain is just um after I had I had four of them total. After I had the first one, that's when I broke down and told my husband, I'm insane, something's wrong. Like something, like I'm insane. You know, I told him it's connected to him. There's a connection there. I don't understand. I've lost my mind. I need help. Like, I need help. Like I'm I'm gonna die. Like I'm gonna die. Like I need help. Um, and so we um we had started seeing a Reiki here. And the Reiki that was here, she was kind of in the beginning phases, you know, she kind of had some skills, but um, and so she was helping me a little bit, and then when she was helping me a little bit as I escalated, she was like, You, you, you're beyond me. Like, I want to help you, but and so she sent me to you. And so when I came to you, I think I had had two seizures at that point, and I had only been on the the the video with you for maybe I don't know, 10 minutes, and you're like, Yeah, that's grief, that's past life grief. Like, like you knew right away, like you knew right away. You're like, that's grief, that's grief.

SPEAKER_00:

Like your body I remember going, like, I yeah, I see that closet. Yeah, I know it's going on there.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you did. You're like, there's a closet. I'm like, how in the hell? Like you blew my ever-loving mind because I'm really thinking I'm headed for a strait jacket and four padded walls and a mental institution. And then when I got on with you, I was like, Well, she's not crazy. And look at all this, like, she was not crazy at all. She was very normal and look at everything, you know. Cause I just really I just had one foot in the grave as far as I was concerned.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, I and you needed that. Like I felt like you needed that. You needed someone to come in and be like, this is what this is, this is how we're gonna handle it. Your husband is your anchor. We're gonna utilize that energy and we're gonna work through this.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and one of the things my husband had said that stuck with me so much is when I went to go talk to him, you know, of course it was overwhelming at first, but you know, after you know, he said, and he really kind of nailed it. He said, Well, I guess your soul is sick, so we're gonna find you a soul doctor. Like, I don't know what that looks like, but if you had cancer, we'd find you a cancer doctor. You got a sick soul, and I don't know how to fix a sick soul. So he's like, We're gonna find a doctor that fixed souls, you know? And I was just like, I I mean, that's really what it boiled down to.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, we had that man deserves an award.

SPEAKER_01:

He does.

SPEAKER_00:

Like he is so supportive because I think even on that first call, he was there with you.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah, because I was vomiting and everything, I was like doubled over vomiting. And I mean, I it was a lot, like it, like I was like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And he was just like a rock.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, I don't, I mean, from my understanding, he never wavered.

SPEAKER_01:

No, not once. Not once. And that's actually in the forward of my book. Like he never, he never doubted me, he never said I was crazy, he never said you're a nutbag. He never like he never ever discredited anything I had to say. Like he would say, Well, gosh, that's really weird, you know, but he would never say, You're a liar, you made that up, you're crazy. That didn't happen. Never, like, never.

SPEAKER_00:

It was validating, but not dismissive.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Well, and he experienced a lot of it too. I mean, he was there when the treadmill went off. He was there when the closet counts. Just yesterday, it's so funny because just yesterday we went to the, or not yesterday, was it Monday, we went to the museum. And I kid you not, there were crystals that I touched literally popped. They popped. And he was like, he just looked at me like because we were touching the crystals and stuff. And there were ones that popped, and I like, you heard that, right? He goes, Oh yeah, oh yeah, like they literally popped. I'm like, I don't know. And there were crystals that I had that um at the when I first started carrying crystals, they would vibrate, they would vibrate. And I asked the psychic, I'm like, are they supposed to do that? And she's like, Well, I mean, if you're getting what you need from them, there's gonna be some energy there. So, you know, yeah, but yeah, we were yeah, so he's experienced some stuff too. Like he he's, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I mean, it's been a journey for him to witness and hold space for your experience to move through. So he finds out, he's super solid, he helps you find someone to help heal your soul. You end up with me, then what happens?

SPEAKER_01:

So once I end up with you, and I have many tearful crying sessions, like they were. I mean, they I was physically, they they were they were intense. I was physically ill, I was sick, I was shaking, I was vomiting, I couldn't breathe, I cried a lot. Um, and you gave me, you know, not only did we have our sessions, but you gave me skills, you gave me homework, you gave me things to do, you gave me uh uh what is it, not chance. What it when when I when you gave me the stuff yeah, you gave me things to like type out and say at night when I went to bed. What a sovereignty statement. Yes, yes, I was like, that has got to be read numerous times a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you told me like, you know, yeah, I mean, and you told me how important, you know, you just conveyed how important, like there are so many things we take for granted in this life. And you just conveyed to me how important, like my my words and my mental state, and my, you know, like what I say, and and and and just yeah, I mean, it was just so like you, it was just a whole new world. Like it was just, it was like being thrown in the ocean when you've never been thrown in the ocean and looking at all the fish, and you're like, wow, look at that one and that one, and and so all the things that you were teaching me and showing me, and and little by little and bit by bit I got better. I joined the the first soul rising class and the lessons there, and there were so many things happening with me because the validation I never thought of past lives, like that wasn't something that I I wasn't against them, but I didn't know. So, like the idea that past lives are real, the idea that some people can remember them, um the idea that the you know our energy it lives forever, like it it stays. It so like the energy from that past life is is still reaching me, and these were all just such new, like just such new and overwhelming concepts. So yeah, I just I mean I just started putting everything into practice and you know, doing the breathing and and doing the statements and and and um and I got into crystals and I and and I literally like and oh and the amount of the uh is it attunement, alignment, the connection to my knowing, like I started to learn to control it. Yeah, I started to learn to like like I I can like I can go into a restaurant now and there'll be a man come stand behind another man and it's his past loved one, and he's like, hey, hey, I mean, stuff like that became triplefold, like triplefold. Like I got to where I just didn't want to go in public because not only did I deal with the chaos of the people, I dealt with the chaos of the other all the scene of everything.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh yeah. But at some point you were able to dial it in and control it. Tell me a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I wouldn't say that I control it per se, but I would say, like, and I'm still working on this to some extent, but like when I don't, I mean, like when they come and I don't want them to come, or when I hear them and I don't want, I'm like, you know what? I I hear you, I understand, I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to back up, you know, like like those kinds of things, like so is that ultimately where you got with this past life persona of yourself?

SPEAKER_00:

Like now is not the time, you need to back off.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. So yeah. So I would basically, yes, I would basically say, like, I would tell, I guess myself, right? Like, I mean, I assume it's myself, and I would tell myself, I would say, okay, look, I understand this was your husband in a past life. I understand you lost him there. I understand that hurt. I understand that was painful. We need to process that. We need to work on that because clearly we brought that grief all the way with us here to this life. I get that, but you have to understand in this life, he cannot fit in that zone. That's not, I mean, these are conversations in my head, and I would, and I would literally, there were times where I literally took my hand and I went, no, you have to step back. No, I need you to move back. This is not, this is not your zone. And I mean, I would physically in my, I could be walking down the hallway and be like, no, step back. And my husband's just like, hey, you know, and so yeah, so I mean, I started practicing those kinds of things. Um, another thing that happened is nature, trees, man. Trees, man. Like I literally started talking to trees, and that was like the the first time I actually I think I messaged Chantelle because there was one day where I went to go show a house and I heard screaming. I heard screaming and I kept looking around and I kept and it was screaming and I couldn't, and there was a giant RV parked in front of us, and I started just feel panicked, and I was like, I I don't want to be here. I want to go. I the screaming and it was so much. And then I finally just I think I don't know, I can't remember because it was so much in my head. I don't know if I got out and walked around or if I just just kind of started, you know, looking and looking and looking around. There was a tree that was being cut down that was a perfectly healthy, good tree, and there was nothing wrong with it. And I could hear screaming, and I'm like, I grabbed my husband's leg and I'm like, David, David, I think I hear the tree screaming, I think I feel like feel and it was and yeah, that was my first, and ever since then, I mean trees, man.

SPEAKER_00:

And that was while you were in Soul Rising.

SPEAKER_01:

I think so, yeah, because I reached out to Chantel. And so Chantel told me that the tree sent its energy to you. It was, of course, it was a negative energy, it was a panicked energy, and she told me you need to transmute that energy. She said it was energy that you know, so she said, transmute it, transmute it, let it go. Like she told me what to do and the process to do. And so I did what she said, and I kind of mixed it kind of like with the journey because I really need that drumming to really zone for me. Like I know you guys don't always need it, but I really need that drumming. So I kind of did a tree transmution with the with or transmutation, however you say it, with the drumming to this day. That was one of the most I if if I had I would say I was on acid. Like if I had to say psychedelic experience, yes, it was a trip, but it was actually a journey. If I have to say what happened to me during that tree, I really thought, I mean, I would just it would be something you would hear somebody describe on an acid trip. And mind you, I do nothing, like I do nothing, nothing, like nothing. So that journey to this day was one of my one of my I mean most of I, yes, that journey, I mean, was amazing. Amaz when I first started journeying, they were dark, they were dark. I was with um Isabel when I first started journeying, and um there were several journeys I came out of gasping for air and couldn't breathe because the first few journeys were intense, um dark, dark, dark. And um Isabel helped me with keeping the dark, you know, like with telling it, with saying, No, you and so after I had my dark journeys, I had some other journeys that um I could see the dark and it was to the side, and I knew it was there. It was like negative, bad. And I was like, no, you you stay over there, you know, and so I learned in my journeys to like, and even now to this day, there are times I journey and I can see the dark, and I'm like, no, no, stay over there.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, and I think that's so much what we have to understand is our our psyches are revealing something to us, right? And so when it's pushing in and controlling us or taking over our lives or taking over our psyche, we get to claim with our free will, no, you don't. This is my place, this is my space, I can be safe in this. And the more you claim your energy, you claim the space around you, you claim how you are presenting yourself, there is no room for it to push in on. Yes, yes, right. But you got you have to be so strong in your sovereignty.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, yes. And I've and I saw, I mean, that was another journey that I went. I saw that I can go back to the very beginning to where I was, I say attacked because I don't know what else to say. Yeah. Um, to the very beginning where I was being attacked. And and as I got the skills and abilities from you guys, like I can I can say that it definitely like I mean, I had some beautiful journeys, I had some wonderful journeys, but I had to go through this process of like telling no, go away, you know. And so I had to do that with my journeys. I had to do that with my past self. I had to, you know, the difference with my past self is I have to show myself like with the negative journeys, just go away, period. That's it. But like with my past self, it was a and it still is to this day. I have to show a combination of love, compassion, and compassion and understanding because this is me. This is a broken me that's coming back. So it's like I have to have love, passion, and understanding for me, but at the same time, I have to put me in my place. Yeah, it's called boundaries, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to put I have to put me in my place. So it's like I I don't want to discard me, but at the same time, you you gotta you can't, you you can't come into the here and now and suck this up, right?

SPEAKER_00:

And so well done on your boundaries, and that's that process is so huge. It's a hard fought journey, it's a hard fought journey, yeah. And it's been many years now, and you've made this such amazing progress. And then so then you you you've graduated from Soul Rising, and now you decide I'm gonna take all these poems and make a book. How did I?

SPEAKER_01:

So I have been collecting my poems. I had been when I started writing them down, I had been keeping it. First I wrote them down in a journal. Then I went from the journal to putting them on the computer, then I had a file on the computer, then I printed them all off and put them in a folder. And once I printed them all off and put them in a folder, I would get them out every now and then and just start flipping through the pages and reading them because it was interesting to see how far I'd come. And it was kind of grounding for me to be like, this is the poem you wrote today, but this is the poem you wrote a year and a half ago. Look at the difference. And I through that process, it was more like a process of part of my healing, I guess, to constantly look through them. But that's when I realized that, like, you you've got a sequence of like events here. And it was so cathartic to write them that then I just started saying, wow, that'd be cool to publish a book. And then it just kind of went, you know, at first it was just a passing thought, like just sitting down on the floor with all my poems spread, thinking, oh yeah, that'd be neat. And you know, and then it just kept, yeah, and just little by little baby steps.

SPEAKER_00:

Would you be willing to read one of your poems for us?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, I can read one of my poems. And I'll read the beginning too, because I mean, you guys are acknowledged in this book. I'll probably cry. Um, because I I really don't know that I'd be here if it weren't for you guys. Like I was really, I had one foot in the grave. Like I was ready to go. Like I was ready to go.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, so yeah, that's so glad that you contacted me when you did.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. No, I those seizures the well, and realistically, I mean, I it has to be the universe, right? Because I went to the psychic who went to the uh hypnotism, and then the psychic led me to the other Reiki, and the other Reiki led me to you. So it was like it was the sequence of divine events that couldn't have unfolded any other way. Like divine is the only way I know to say, like, divine led me to you guys because coming across you wasn't an accident, but the path to from me to you looked like this. Yeah, it was all over the place, it was all over the place. So all I know, all I know to say is it was divine because I wasn't gonna get there without they they brought me there, right?

SPEAKER_00:

And so many people find moon rising that way. They're just like, I came across across the podcast, or a friend of a friend of a friend told me I needed to come see you. Like, yeah, it just happens that way. I'm always amazed at how the divine consistently shows up for potential students and clients and everyone else to bring people in for their for their healing, for their alignment for what they need.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And you know, it takes me back to that poem. Um, I grew up very religious. I grew up in the Methodist church, but you know, there's that poem Footprints, and it says, you know, when there's only one set of prints, it's because you were carried. And so I know that I was carried to you guys because I wasn't walking on my own. Like I was not a solid human being at all. And so I know that that one divine was the only way that I found you guys. I know that. Like I know that. So sometimes it gets hard. Okay, so here's my book. This is the cover. Um, right there. That's the cover. Um, and so the one paragraph that's for you guys in the beginning in the acknowledgement, it says, you know, a special thank you to Christine Chantel and Isabel. You three did the impossible. You made me feel normal, sane, and accepted, and reminding me that I belong here. Without your help, I wouldn't be here today, alive, stable, and whole. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, because I am I lost my shit. Good. Good.

SPEAKER_00:

We helped you pull it back together.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, well, and I remember you telling me because I told you I didn't belong here anymore. And I remember you said, Yes, you do. You're just hanging out with the wrong people. You were like, you just have to find that's what she said. You said, Yes, you do. You're just hanging out with the wrong people. You have to find your right people. And so, yeah, I'm because I was like, I just don't belong here. Like, I don't belong here. I don't need to be here anymore. It's time for me to go. And I just quickly fixed that. You were like, No, you just you're just hanging out with the wrong people. You have to find your people, and you've now found them.

SPEAKER_00:

So when I think for so many of our listeners, like this is their space to come to recognize that they're not alone. Yeah, there are so many people who are clear cognizant and don't understand it. There's so many people who have visions and don't understand them. There's so many people who have bizarre, odd, weird, crazy looking things happen in their life. And in this space, it doesn't look that way. It's just oh, you're gifted. Let's explore that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even when you do see really bizarre, weird stuff, like when I did the journey with the tree, there's a sense of acceptance with it that you wouldn't have had before. There was a sense of rejection that would have come about before that says, Oh, I'm crazy. Where now, as it's like, oh wow, you got taken on a really interesting journey. You know, like it, there's no like, oh my gosh, you're a nutbag. It's more like, wow, that was a really cool journey. Like that was a like there's just this sense of acceptance now that's like, I'm not insane. I just went on an interesting trip, you know?

SPEAKER_00:

Like I'm I think that's one of my favorite things about the Soul Rising program is that there's other people learning the exact same thing. And so they're going on their own journeys. Like you all are sharing, and you're all going, wow. And they get more and more elaborate the more we go in depth in the training. And it's always profound, it's always accepting. And and there's not a right or wrong. It's yeah, we accept all of you, all of who you are, all of your shadowy parts are welcome here.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Well, and you know, another thing that I found so so when I was when I first started teaching, right? And I first started learning about all the different disabilities and all the different things that kids have and this and that, you know, you got to a point where, like, I mean, you know, like now, for instance, I I well, no, let me go back. I'm ADD. Um, like I could see a kid, and it wouldn't matter who the face is, like the behaviors were similar, and I could be like, oh yeah, he's ADD or he's this, or you know, and now I've gotten to where I can recognize a um like a traumatic brain injury. I can spend five minutes with someone. I'm like, you have a TBI. You know, I don't say it out loud. And so, but you you learned as a teacher that these things, it doesn't matter who the face is, the way the behavior and the things came through are the same. And so one of the things I found so enlightening and so eye-opening with the um journeys and everybody sharing and things in uh Moon Rising was even though there were lots and lots of differences, and even though maybe people had a different spirit animal or a different uh spirit guide, or realistically, it's kind of all the same. Like it's kind of all like when you started hearing these people, you know, and and I tended to stay with my same group, but every now and then I couldn't make a meeting, I'd have to go to a different group. And then when we would do our journeys and share our journeys, we're different people all across the globe in different places, having these private little sessions in our own space. And yet when we went to go share them, the commonalities were like amazing. They were so validating. It's like there really is something to the other side, like there really is something to the other side because how did this happen for you and you and and and and maybe the animal was different, or maybe, but there were so many similarities that was like this is real, like this is really happening, like this, like you're doing this in Minnesota, and I'm doing this in Galveston, and you're doing this in California. And it's it was it would that was so validating to see and hear that. That like just like I noticed all these patterns and people with teaching, and it didn't matter who the face was, these systems and processes and things were the same. It was the same thing with Moon Rising to hear these people talk, and it was like there really is something to this. Like, this really is like a legit, like absolutely so yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So oh, I love that share. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it was it was it was really so. Um, my first poem is called A Past Life Bleed Through, and that's just kind of like in that that's kind of everything because that's that's you know what brought me here was I remembered a past life that I I didn't know these things existed. I mean, I didn't um so it's a um past life bleed through. Do you know what it is? I had to ask too. I had no idea it exists and what it does to you. You see and know how you used to be, how your life used to go. Skills and talents begin to show that once we're locked and barred from view, appearances will change as well. Emotions and feelings surface too. One succumbs, it swallows you. Oh, wait, let's see. One succumbs, it swallows you through and through. You lose your current self. You have to claw and fight your way back to mental and emotional health. Once you do, you have a whole new you, a mix of you now and her both. Live and stay in duality inside of you. The partner you loved, he's there too. He triggered the whole venue. It's torture trying to make it all fit in a current life where it can't all sit. But it is what it is, it's all here now. You have to wake up, contain, maintain, and balance it all somehow without losing your sanity. A past life bleed through and all his luggage is now my new reality.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_01:

So, yeah, that's that kind of just introduces kind of the whole book. Like, I just remembered this past life, and now I've got to make all of these pieces fit because I'm here, she's here, everybody's here, and you know, we can't sabotage this life, we can't have the old one back, and somehow we've got to reconcile. Yeah, somehow we've got to reconcile.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. So a past life bleed through, your collection of poems, chronicling your journey, is available on Amazon. And we're gonna put that that link in the show notes. So know that if you're listening to this and you really want to do the deep dive into the journey through poems, which sounds amazing. You can find that there. Are is there anything else you want to share with our listeners?

SPEAKER_01:

You know, I mean, really just you know, just just just don't give up. I mean, just don't. I mean, I was, you know, just just don't give up. Just hang in there. Like if things get dark and they look bad, I mean, just take it one moment at a time. And if that moment means that you sit on the edge of your bed for half an hour, then you do that. You know, if that moment means that, you know, all you did today was breathe and get through the day, then do that. And then wake up tomorrow and do what tomorrow calls you to do. And just, you know, like, but listen to the calling. I mean, listen, you know, listen to the calling, like listen to yourself and listen to and just keep, I mean, just don't give up. Because I was, I mean, I was just just just just so close, so close. I mean, I literally sat in the shower, in the closet, and then I just cried with the gun next to me. Like, I was ready, like I was ready, you know?

SPEAKER_00:

And so yeah, just so glad you didn't make that choice, and you've got found your your soul doctors. Yeah, my soul, that's one of my soul doctors. I found your soul doctor surgery.

SPEAKER_01:

That's what you can call yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, I'm Christine, I'm a soul doctor. I love it. And and know that like something beautiful really came out of this. You were able to really take all of that heaviness, all of that hurt, all of that grief, and turn it into something that really acute a call a callmates, you know, bring it, it brought it all together to really show your story and that you can share your story so that other people who go through similar experiences, because I guarantee they're out there. Yeah. You are not the only person I've had have strong past lives come through to the the point that it's debilitating, right? Yeah. And I hope that the listeners who hear this put that in their memory bank to so that they know to share this story, share this book for the people who need to hear it. Because it like you, so many out there have no idea what they're under they're going through. And they and I'm so happy that we live in a day and age now that you can YouTube things. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like, yeah, what is this? What what does this mean? What is what are what is a past life? Like there's so much juicy, good information that's now readily available, more so than it was, and yet you're still taking those steps of following the bread clums to the right person that's gonna help you, the right program that's gonna help you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And I continue to work on all my stuff. I mean, I continue to, you know, I'm I'm a whole my life is so different now. Like my life looks so very what my life looked like in 20, this happened, this began in 2021. What my life looked like in the beginning of 2021 to now, I'm not that person. My life doesn't look that way anymore. My priorities have completely and utterly changed. I mean, all, you know, money is a necessary evil, but it doesn't mean anything to me. Like it doesn't mean anything to me. I just need the bare basics and you know, divine will provide. Nature's there for me, nature calls, nature speaks to me. Like, I just know that wherever I'm supposed to go and wherever I'm supposed to be, um, you know, I say I had to lose religion to find Jesus because my faith now, my belief, my faith is five thousand that five thousand times stronger. Like I like my belief in divine and the other side and and and all of that is the deepest it's ever been. The deepest it's ever been.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. I'm so happy for all that has transmuted, transpired, and has brought you here today. So thanks for being on the show. Yeah, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you guys for doing what you do because I'm here because of y'all.

SPEAKER_00:

So thank you so much. Well, for all of the listeners out there, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you want to find that book, we'll put those links in the show notes. And until next time, have a wonderful, beautiful week, everyone. Take care. Thanks for tuning in to today's show. The Wisdom Rising Podcast is sponsored by Moonrising Shamanic Institute. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the show on your favorite podcasting app and be the first to know when we release a new episode. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube at Moonrising Institute, or visit our website, Moonrising Institute.com. Once again, thanks for sharing space with us today. And until next time, may you awaken to the whispers of wisdom rising from within.